[The President George W. Bush Report is the first issue of a new online periodical published by the communications staff of Joe's Original Alpaca Burger corporate headquarters and the authors of newcounterculture.com.]

[This occasional newsletter is directed solely to President George W. Bush, carrying news and information of which we believe President George W. Bush really ought to be aware. We truly would like President George W. Bush to succeed because we believe he is a decent man and good leader. We suspect, however, that President George W. Bush gets bad advice at times, and we see it as our duty as citizens to try to nudge him back onto the right path.]

[It may seem unrealistic to think we will ever get this publication before the eyes of President George W. Bush, but we are betting that if we repeat the phrase 'President George W. Bush' enough times it will get picked up by the search engines. We are reasonably sure President George W. Bush has information people and security people scouring cyberspace on a regular basis so we do hold a slim hope that one of them may actually forward this to President George W. Bush. We have sent letters by e-mail and regular mail on various topics to President George W. Bush in the past but have concluded that tactic is slightly less effective than putting a note in a bottle and tossing it into the Potomac River, so we are going to rely on The President George W. Bush Report for all future correspondence.]

[If you happen to actually BE President George W. Bush, welcome to the Alpaca Burger Forum! Thanks so much for visiting and we hope you can find time to stop by regularly in the future. We promise always to get quickly to the point and let you get on with the nation's business.]

The President George W. Bush Report

Vol.1

January 7, 2004

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PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH:
YOUR 'BASE' IS GETTING A LITTLE CONCERNED HERE

President George W. Bush is being informed that a large segment of his conservative supporters are worried as a result of the announcement of his proposal to overhaul the U.S. immigration system. The details of this proposal have the base even more concerned than when the prescription drug program for seniors was announced. These Bush supporters believe the immigration plan will reward lawbreakers, make the U.S. less secure and depend on an unreliable 'honor system' to ensure temporary workers' return to their home countries.

Most importantly, conservatives believe the potential political benefit of expanded support from the Hispanic community is a pipe dream, and the Bush administration's obvious attempt to win votes in this way seems out of character. As a young conservative supporter said: "This is practically clintonesque. Why does he need to curry favor with anyone? He's the first president in my adult life to exhibit character and his popularity is growing because of it. This better be some kind of joke."

Other conservative supporters point out that Bush is more likely to score significant political gains by demonstrating principled leadership to potential 'Bush Democrats' in the Midwest and even California. One supporter who is now 'getting on the fence' said: "This year, he could win over former Democratic voters who may disagree with some of his positions but respect him as a person. If he loses that respect, he's going to lose liberal AND conservative voters regardless of his positions. There are a lot more people concerned about lax immigration policies than there are potential immigrant votes for Bush."

Some members of the conservative base have speculated that the immigration plan could be a ploy - designed to be shot down in Congress but still allowing President Bush to take credit for the gesture. These supporters advise that this course of action could backfire, especially if the eventual Democratic presidential nominee takes the likely tactic of running 'to the right' of the president on the homeland security issue.

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THIS CONCLUDES THIS ISSUE OF THE PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH REPORT