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26, 2005

A Pope for Protestants

For a number of reasons, I was not overly excited when the first 'Evangelicals and Catholics Together' document was released (or, I guess we should now say, 'promulgated'). It was interesting, and bold in a way, but at the same time evoked a 'well, duh!' type of appraisal.

News flash: 'Conservative Catholics' and Evangelicals hold orthodox theological beliefs and social-values positions in common, but differ on the important issues of justification by faith, Scripture vs tradition, the role of Mary, and the validity of the Roman Catholic magisterium.

Well time has passed, and of course those differences remain. Technically. I'm no preacher so I can't judge the relative efficacy of the dueling orthodox models for bringing sinners to Christ.

But I do read the news. It sure seems like developments such as this, this, this...

this (9-11 revisitation - whew) ; and....

this....

...have changed the landscape a little.

Maybe the role of the confessional or the encylicals or the rituals don't make a whole heck of a lot of difference in the big picture. Maybe we have a few small areas of agreement, that actually turn out to be BIG principles, that trump the differences.

More here and here.

If you are Protestant, and you are picking teams, you very well might pick Joe Ratzinger for your side:

"Relativism, pluralism and naturalism are the three main foes of evangelicalism today and they're the main foes of conservative Roman Catholics," said Norman Geisler, president of Southern Evangelical Seminary in Charlotte, N.C., and co-author of Roman Catholics and Evangelicals: Agreements and Differences...

The Southern Baptist leader said he isn't bothered "in the least" by Ratzinger's writing in the 2000 document Dominus Iesus, which calls non-Catholic churches "gravely deficient" and says Catholics alone have the "fullness of the means of salvation." That document was prepared by the Vatican Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, which Ratzinger headed.

"His views have no authority over us and I realize that it's an official opinion in Catholicism, but for us, it's just one guy's idea," Land said....

John Witvliet, director of the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Mich., said the choice of the new pope is likely to hearten those still involved in the "Evangelicals and Catholics Together" movement as well as evangelical opponents to abortion and euthanasia. But he said his writings on Christ also will appeal to those outside the Catholic world.

"The vast majority of his writings are about the person and nature of Jesus, the beauty of God, and the nature of the church as source of healing and mission in the world," he said in a statement. "Those, of course, are all topics that resonate not just with Catholics, but with Protestants as well."

As a Protestant, I don't get all the Catholic stuff. They go off on some tangents I'm simply not educated about. But I look for truth wherever I can find it, and I find a good amount of it in Benedict XVI.

25, 2005

The Clinton-Bush Lovefest is Ok With Me

What passes for positive news these days often seems to vary from the goopy to the creepy.

I'd just like to say, if there were more stories like this one, I'd probably take a much greater interest in politics:

Old rivals make odd couple, but affection's real: insiders

...Barbara Bush, the 41st President's tart-tongued wife, calls them the Odd Couple. Florida Gov. Jeb Bush now refers to the Democrat who ended his father's political career as "Bro."

A close friend of the Bush family spoke for many partisans on both sides of the political divide last week by musing, "It's a good development for the country - but it sure is a strange development. I'm a little speechless..."

The emerging warm friendship between the Oscar and Felix of American politics, who now call themselves Bill and George and have even begun telephoning one another for advice, is that rarest of commodities: a good-news story amid the partisan rancor of an increasingly polarized capital city...

"This is definitely for real," a top aide to one of the exes said. "We thought the relationship would come to an end with the tsunami. It certainly didn't."

That's an understatement. Clinton has rearranged a busy West Coast schedule to appear with the elder Bush in Houston next month, and more joint events are in the works. The two talk regularly, and their staffs are in almost daily contact. They've golfed together, sat side by side at the Super Bowl, and cut TV spots appealing for tsunami contributions....

It's a sign of their mutual affection that the elder Bush has resorted to what he usually derides as "psychobabble" to try to explain the relationship.

"Maybe I'm the father he never had," Bush recently speculated, referring to the fact that Clinton's father died in an automobile accident before the future President was born...

The whole article is worth reading.

If I had to give a one-sentence definition of 'politics' it would be something like this: 'A continuing series of disappointments provided by wealthy people in suits.'

The rare occasions when people in positions of influence actually try to pull together for the public good are instances to treasure.

23, 2005

Ask the Dr: Continuity is the disease

Young lad: 'Dr. Winston Turner, why don't you ever write about seals or sea lions?'

Dr. Turner: 'That's quite a question for such a young man, Jimmy, but let me try to answer it. To change the subject matter of my writing I'd have to ignore millions of thoughts that stick with me day in and day out. If I wanted to start writing about sea mammals, for instance, I'd have to truncate my thinking about the horrible customer service of so many companies that comprise the bitter background of my daily existence.'

Young lad: 'Holy cow, that's pretty grim, Dr. Turner!'

Dr. Turner: 'But you know what, Jimmy? I may start writing about sea lions, and I may start doing it real soon."

Young lad: 'Aw, shucks, Dr. Turner, well ain't that grand! Well ain't that the best news of all!'

Springtime, and the postin' is easy

Perhaps a little too easy, reflecting on last night's little contribution to the body of Western thought...I wonder if Greymatter has a device that locks you out when you are, ahem, preoccupied. Maybe a quick problem in Algebra II would provide the fail-safe...

Anyhoo - I don't have to close again for several days and there are few doubles on the horizon, so I expect a slightly reduced chance of blithering silliness. Certainly there will be a reduced chance of multiple trays of lemon shots fired across the bow.

22, 2005

Apt Appellations

Over at Ace of Spades HQ they are flailing about in all directions to provide guidance for a name for Ace and Karol's upcoming Web radio show. Which has got me to thinking about some good names not yet being used, but which might just be compelling enough to launch a new line of eyepatches, Microsoft certifications, or salsa:

-Boy Named Halliburton (or Firstborn Named Halliburton, probably a little closer to the reality)

-I Drink'm You Wipe'm

-He Grate On Me (the obligatory XFL nod, fixture in American literature)

-Four A.M. Newslady Blues

-Don't Try That With A Metal-Spring Mattress

-Buddy Buddy, Slug Slug (agri-sociology)

Clearly, this is the beginning of a long-term project.

19, 2005

Pope Benedict XVI on the 'Historical Jesus'

Actually, Cardinal Ratzinger's analysis of the problems of 'modern exegesis' goes much deeper than that title suggests.

[Personally, I've never been one to delve very deeply into problems posed by the literary-criticism approach to the Bible because I'm too keenly aware that, at any moment, any one of us might be chewed to pieces by chimpanzees. That knowledge keeps me too preoccupied to go much beyond the plain meaning of the text.]

But the point for now is, this man has a mind like a razor:

We need to introduce at this point what I have already called the diachronic approach to exegetical findings. After about two hundred years now of exegetical work on the texts, one can no longer give all their results equal weight. Now one has to look at them within the context of their particular history. It then becomes clear that such a history is not simply one of progress from imprecise to precise and objective conclusions. It appears much more as a history of subjectively reconstructed interrelationships whose approaches correspond exactly to the developments of spiritual history. In turn, these developments are reflected in particular interpretations of texts. In the diachronic reading of an exegesis, its philosophic presuppositions become quite apparent. Now, at a certain distance, the observer determines to his surprise that these interpretations, which were supposed to be strictly and purely "historical," reflect their own overriding spirit, rather than the spirit of times long ago...

At its core, the debate about modern exegesis is not a dispute among historians: it is rather a philosophical debate. Only in this way can it be carried on correctly. Otherwise it is like a battle in a mist. The exegetical problem is identical in the main with the struggle for the foundations of our time...

This bit of slash-and-paste hardly does justice to the argument, so I recommend reading all of it.

It does illustrate that Ratzinger has a knack for getting directly to the core of a multi-layered controversy and highlighting the inarguable fact: Every attempt to carve out the 'historical truth' of the Bible by disgarding the 'mythical' elements reveals the assumptions of each critic. Each one tells the story he was already planning to tell.

Why not read the Scripture as it stands, and assume the truth is the story it tells us?

There is much for evangelicals to appreciate in the new Pope.

Ratzinger it is - bring on the magic media moments

Good news, good for the Church, and good for the journalists who will have miles of manuscripts to dig into for further evidence of just how 'controversial' this new Pope is.

As was opined here some time ago, Cardinal Ratzinger had our vote from the beginning. Extremely prolific and well-spoken, he will engage the information-channelers of the world with gusto. I foresee some memorable, quote-rich and, yes, controversial interviews in the coming months.

Bonfire of the Vanities, Week 94

The self-indentified 'worst posts of the week' - how in the name of Zeus can anyone resist going over to Am I A Pundit Now immediately?

Sobering thought

'I wish I could know what my life might have been like if I had lived it without alcohol.'

- W.C. Fields (On his death bed)

18, 2005

A little Nat-blogging

Inspired by 'Nat' Demosthenes, I decided to switch on the tail end of the local team's game tonight, and what do you know the Nationals trail 9-3 in the ninth inning but they have the bases loaded with no one out. Could Dr. Turner's return to baseball fandom take place on one of the great comebacks in Nationals' history?

Hmm...it appears the luck I bring to the team is of the slow developing sort.

16, 2005

Amusements, redux: Get a hanky my friend...

...you are going to need it.

I ran across this referral from a Guy who in a previous life evoked some tears Himself time to time.

The challenge: How many five year olds can you take on?

Whew... I made it to "Cynamin" about halfway down. If you can get past that before the crying begins, your next drink is on the house.

My take on the 'culture wars'

Then the trial began, and, as you might expect, it didn't look anyways good for the defense. And Jabez Stone didn't make much of witness in his own behalf. He took one look at Simon Girty and screeched, and they had to put him back in his corner in a kind of swoon.

It didn't halt the trial, though; the trial went on, as trials do. Dan'l Webster had faced some hard juries and hanging judges in his time, but this was the hardest he'd ever faced, and he knew it. They sat there with a kind of glitter in their eyes, and the stranger's smooth voice went on and on. Every time he'd raise an objection, it'd be "Objection sustained," but whenever Dan'l objected, it'd be "Objection denied."

Well, you couldn't expect fair play from a fellow like this Mr. Scratch.

It got to Dan'l in the end, and he began to heat, like iron in the forge. When he got up to speak he was going to flay that stranger with every trick known to the law, and the judge and the jury too. He didn't care if it was contempt of court or what would happen to him for it. He didn't care any more what happened to Jabez Stone. He just got madder and madder, thinking of what he'd say. And yet, curiously enough, the more he thought about it, the less he was able to arrange his speech in his mind.

Till, finally, it was time for him to get up on his feet, and he did so, all ready to bust out with lightnings and denunciations. But before he started he looked over the judge and jury for a moment, such being his custom. And he noticed the glitter in their eyes was twice as strong as before, and they all leaned forward. Like hounds just before they get the fox, they looked, and the blue mist of evil in the room thickened as he watched them. Then he saw what he'd been about to do, and he wiped his forehead, as a man might who's just escaped falling into a pit in the dark.

For it was him they'd come for, not only Jabez Stone. He read it in the glitter of their eyes and in the way the stranger hid his mouth with one hand. And if he fought them with their own weapons, he'd fall into their power; he knew that, though he couldn't have told you how. It was his own anger that burned in their eyes; and he'd have to wipe that out or the case was lost.

Stephen Vincent Benet , The Devil and Daniel Webster (New York: Farrar and Rinehart, 1937), pp. 46-48.

What type of English do you speak?

Very interesting quiz found by nikita. You can monkey with the choices and resubmit the form to find out the geographic origins of various American English terms and speech patterns.

I'm 50% General American; 25% Dixie; 25% Yankee; and 0% for Midwest or Upper Midwest - which almost perfectly matches where I've lived throughout my life (the DC area being "General America" in every sense, where there are no linguistic idiosyncrasies and we speak with dictionary-perfect pronunciation free of any and all accent).

We shall overcome, by riding our brooms up into the sky

Here's an interesting 'did-you-know':

There is an 'anti-defamation' league for witches.

Just thinking about Halloween and 'The Wizard of Oz,' I'd say these folks really have their work cut out for them in the stereotype-battling department.

More here, here, here, here and here.

(That last is actually an interesting site, but I wonder if they spelled "controversial" wrong and made it the name of their site).

Ask the Dr.

When I'm not mixing drinks, puttering around the house or toiling away in the glistening aerie that is Alpaca Burger Towers, I can often be found sitting on a park bench puffing my meerschaum and trying to look professorial. Every once in a while someone will take the bait and stop by to ask my opinion or ideas on some mundane topic (everyone in town having learned I usually have little to say on the 'big issues' of the day). Here is an exchange from earlier today:

Young lad: 'Dr. Winston Turner, why don't you ever write about politics?'

Dr. Turner: 'That's simple, son. Y'see, deep down inside I still live in the world of the 1950s, and in the 1950s nobody cares about such things.'

Young lad: 'Did you see a golden retriever run by here a few minutes ago?'

Dr. Turner: 'I sure did. She ran up toward the old Dawson place over yonder hill.'

Young lad: 'Gee whiz, thanks Dr. Turner!'

Origins of 'baroque'

The wife and I discovered at breakfast today that I do not know the meaning of 'baroque' and, because my attempt to describe what I thought it meant was 'those big buildings with gargoyles at the top,' I don't know the meaning of 'gothic' either. Neither history, art nor vocabulary were my strongest subjects.

Well first things first: Here is a truly excellent essay, the type of piece that can make you laugh, make you think, and make you say 'nga nga nga nga!!'

So these incomplete and unfulfilled men were eking out a meager living primarily playing the women’s roles in theatre (back then, not only was that funny, it was the law!) when somebody realized that these guys not only acted like women, they could sing like women… in fact, they could sing BETTER than women. It turned out that these castrati (castrated singers) had the high beautiful voices of women, and the strong powerful lungs and chest muscles of men (and the anatomy of a Ken doll). Well, as you might guess, once you build a better mousetrap you’ll soon need a better mouse. Composers had to write music that could demonstrate these singer’s remarkable abilities. To Baroque composers, better music simply meant more difficult, with very elaborate, ornamental melody lines.

After mowing the lawn maybe I'll learn some more stuff later.

Remnants of a furtive era

Many do not realize the extent to which the Internet has made available those nuggets from the past - a past which those of us who lived it deeply, deeply regret - such that a few clicks and keystrokes can now bring us lock, stock and barrel into another era.

I have been the proud possessor of a number of classic printed pieces from 'the day,' all of which were obtained at the time via furtive mail inquiries: quests characterized by blurred, mimeographed order forms, mysterious PO boxes, hard-won money orders, and anxious days rushing to the mail box after school.

What a difference a few decades makes.

Today's youths may not fully appreciate the singularity of this material, but there was a time when it sure was hard to come by - and heart-wrenching to lose. A previous spouse saw fit to dispose of a pile of my most treasured cultural archives, including those posters and an original complete copy of Gilbert Shelton's "Feds 'n' Heads" board game from the September 1971 issue of Playboy.

At the time it seemed like an American tragedy of epic proportions, but what do you know you can find it on the Web nowadays, so apart from the riches I'd have earned from eBay I guess there's little point in continuing to hold the grudge.

The fact some of the guys from that era lived long enough to make the transition from mail order to Miva Merchant is a pleasant discovery indeed.

15, 2005

Serenity finds an audience

The Asian janitor-lady for Alpaca Burger Towers is taking a break on the edge of the parking lot, eyes-closed, face turned upward, taking in the sunshine and the serene unfolding of nature as the flora and fauna surround her with their chirping and buzzing and gentle fragrances; as hundreds of us with offices on this side of the building gaze down at her from our desks because she's the only object of mild interest within 100 yards.

As far as she knows, in the universe right now there is only her, nature, and a massive mirror-glass building reflecting the sky and the woods. In reality, an army of easily distracted office workers is watching her every move.

Random thought #1: Metaphysically speaking every one of us may be in the same situation every moment of our lives.

Random thought #2: What if we all started knocking on our windows at the same time? That would probably freak her out completely.

Categories? We don't need no steenking categories!

At one time it bothered me that Greymatter - or more, specifically, my clunky implementation of Greymatter - did not easily allow for topic categories. But it bothers me no longer. You know why?

Because even if we had categories we'd only need three:

-Dr. Turner on his own daily life

-Dr. Turner goes to the movies

-Everyone else howls at the moon

Amusements

Let's see...it is nice to be back but I'm feeling a little rusty as to where everything is kept around here, so please bear with me if I hit a wrong button and turn everything into green italics or accidentally post my shopping list or tax return...

Ok, today's topic is 'things that amuse Dr. Winston Turner.' In fact it will be the likely topic for the next few days so if posting is light it means my world has been bleak indeed.

But not so for today, because one of the first things to land in my inbox was a link to this Web site:

http://www.companycasuals.com/CompanyCasuals/start.jsp

It's e-commerce with a twist. Can you surmise what the twist is?

(Hint: Try to buy something or inquire about same).

14, 2005

Sigh, sigh, all is nigh

Living as we are in the age of citizen subservience, perhaps it is appropriate to chart the annum from tax day to tax day. Supplanting the fiscal year would be the FEDERAL year. Every April 14 we prepare to move ahead to a new era.

On that note, this geezer must bid adieu for a healthy spell. John Climacus burned out over cats, moving, data and political invective, and I'm told he's not to be expected back anytime soon. I in a much shorter span have run out of room to rant. Frankly, I have some travels ahead and expect to see little of either the marvelous mass media or the CRT for a good long while.

Good bye. And if you are staying up late tonight to do your taxes, hang tough young soldier!

Some challenging arguments on the War

In response to the 'Willing to Die...' post, Hub of the Universe tightens the logical screws. Here's the argument. (Hey, you get a cogent commenter, you give them their props):

Shit, I shouldn't have been drinking again... No, that was not my key argument. But, again, I think the question you’ve focused on is a very relevant one in the present situation. (NB: As a rule of thumb, always beware of a riposte which begins with a bugbear – EEK! You're like Micheal Moore!! – or the comment "It's a stupid question.")

I'm well aware that conscription ended some 30 years ago and that no one is "forced" to serve, either by one’s parents or the state. The fact the draft is voluntary does not put an end to the question; it doesn’t suffice to say, pity that you’re dead, but hey, you enlisted. (BTW, Iraq seems to be doing wonders for armed forces recruitment, eh?)

Our political authorities have a duty to commit troops to harm’s way only when our national security is seriously threatened. That test has been failed in spades here. If we’d found WMDs in Iraq – i.e., an incipient nuclear program or some other threat approaching that kind of seriousness – w’s decision to invade, more or less unilaterally, would have been vindicated. We didn’t.

My MM-like question is very relevant in the case of elective war-making: again, assuming a positive long-term outcome in Iraq – and that remains a very shaky, problematic assumption – would you be willing to die for it? I have tremendous sympathy for suffering people and wish democracy on them all. But no, I would not die (or "risk" death) to bring this result about in Iraq. That’s my honest answer.

Despite ten paragraphs, your answer to the question seems quite conflicted. Willing to Risk But Not to Die -- or Willing to Cheer on the Team -- sounds like something that might be said by someone who believes that wars were meant to be fought by other people’s children. Bush’s election for a second term was “an end in itself”? Yikes! Bush doesn’t care about poll numbers? Do you believe in faeries? (I believe in Karl Rove.)

Pity about the cat.

Yeah, it is a pity. The big fluffy stupid allergen-cats cause the whole living situation to be turned upside down, and it's the smart short-hair that jumps over the wall. Life's a bitch and then your cat runs away. Climacus is bummed and his women-folk more so.

The essence of our disagreement on the weighty matters centers on this statement: 'That test has been failed in spades here. If we’d found WMDs in Iraq – i.e., an incipient nuclear program or some other threat approaching that kind of seriousness – w’s decision to invade, more or less unilaterally, would have been vindicated. We didn’t.'

Our belief is the decision to invade Iraq was a good one and the evidence to justify it was far more than sufficient, stockpiles or no. Pre-emption is the only sensible strategy in today's world and Iraq was the right place to start. You need to be a Bad Guy in order to face down the bad guys. This approach would have served our side better in the first conflict in Fallujah.

I related some time ago that there is significant feeling here that Americans are not in favor of sending their kids to die just so Iraqis might taste democracy. There are plenty of people here, and not only those who have been personally scarred by wartime casualties, who have wondered whether the Iraq war was worth it. The result of a political situation in the Middle East more amenable to U.S. security, as appears to be taking place, would help rationalize the effort. Fighting and killing Islamofascists to that end is a worthy pursuit.

Of course it's conflicting. The whole war business is conflicting. Though old I'm technically capable of enlisting and I haven't. But the whole notion that those who believe it is right to take the offensive also believe 'wars were meant to be fought by other people’s children' is wrong. I would rather the fighting be over sooner, and if extended accomplished by the Air Force and robots, for god's sake, rather than our country's youths. Who wouldn't? But whether voluntary or conscripted, the military option must be implemented for the correct strategic objectives - agreed?

Thanks for writing.

Rumsfeld for Pope?

In answer to the burning question, 'What is Karl Rove doing at the conclave?'

...an intriguing suggestion by Dr. Ali Al-Tawati of the Saudi Daily Okaz, reprinted in MEMRI:

Now that President George Bush has nominated John Bolton as American ambassador to the United Nations and Paul Wolfowitz to head the World Bank, we shouldn't be surprised if he repeated his achievements and named a new pope.

Considering the present state of the world, Donald Rumsfeld is surely the best choice for this extremely important international position. Like Bolton and Wolfowitz, he is a firm believer in democracy, America's new religion...

While Dr. Al-Tawati can surely be credited with an ample capacity for blue-sky thinking, he's just a bit off base with this rumination. First of all, if the Bush administration truly has decided to delve into the obscure politics and machinations of the Vatican conclave, it will be purely Rove's operation and you can take that to the bank.

And Rove is far too astute to consider a papal candidate as - let's face it - pedestrian as Rummy. Sure, Rumsfeld is good with the garotte, has played 'hippie meets Buick' a time or three, and frightens school children like no man ever to walk the face of the Earth. But these talents do not translate well to the office of the papacy. A primarily scary Pope would hardly be a useful Pope at all. Rove certainly knows this.

Karl Rove is smart enough to know that for the new Pope to be helpful to the Bush administration, the Holy Father would need to be a bona fide conservative but NOT a Republican fellow traveler; a man philosophically aligned with Bush's religious and moral beliefs but not with established political baggage; an inspiring cultural reformer whose vision is more biblically- than pragmatically-oriented. Monastic, not militaristic...

Well, maybe a little militaristic would do.

12, 2005

For the young women in our lives: Endometriosis resources

Striking close to home: Make sure your ob/gyn checks for this specifically. It affects one in ten. They may try to glide you through on the assumption that you are too young to have any issues.

Catching it early is the key:

Many women and girls do experience pain at the time of their period. However, severe pain that interferes with daily life is not normal, and is often due to the presence of an underlying condition, such as endometriosis. Any girl or woman with severe period pain should be investigated to determine the cause of her pain...

...Far too many doctors still believe that endometriosis is rare in teenagers and young women.

More resources:

Here; here; here; here; and here.

11, 2005

The Blogger Dead Pool Sidebar Cleanup

We're going to do some updating to the sidebar Blogroll (formerly 'World O' Blogs') and this means some weeding out. It's bittersweet. Many of these folks took notice of the Alpaca Burger Forum in one fashion or another - or, conversely, ignored us totally but made us laugh - when we launched this little barge of goodness back in December 2003 so it is sad to mark their departure from the milieu.

Therefore in a spirit of ceremonial memorialization, we hereby note the passing of the following brethren and sistren:

Blogo Slovo

Bush Over Kerry

Farm Accident Digest

Funkalicious (this one hurts - she was a sweetie)

Redlinerants

and of course, the Big Dog 'god' dropout:

Allah - the best blog ever on the Internet, devolves and disappears, tragically through no fault of His own. Just another victim of the worldwide Zionist conspiracy. Of course, he's not quite dead yet....

Sorry to see y'all go. It's been real, and it's been nice, and it HAS been real nice.

'Gizoogle'

A fine bit of amusement to end the day. Should be required reading.

Here's how we came out. Warning: Semi-addictive.

PSA: John Bolton Hearings Report

We present the following on behalf of Move America Forward solely as a public service.

Any opinions, purported statements of fact, viewpoints or summaries of events contained in the following are strictly those of Move America Forward and its designated representatives, and we at the Alpaca Burger Forum endorse them completely.

Bolton Opponents Find Support for U.S. Interests Objectionable

(SACRAMENTO) – The Co-Chairmen of Move America Forward issued the following statement in response to the first few hours in the confirmation hearings for the nomination of John Bolton to serve as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.

Move America Forward (website: MoveAmericaForward.org) is running television ads supporting John Bolton’s nomination on several national television networks. The pro-Bolton ads can be seen online at MoveAmericaForward.org

HOWARD KALOOGIAN, Co-Chair, Move America Forward:

“What we’ve seen today by Bolton opponents like Senator Barbara Boxer and Joseph Biden is a clear display of the Blame America First mentality that permeates the United Nations today.

“For some reason, certain Senators on the Foreign Relations Committee seem to take offense with the notion that John Bolton believes that it is more important to advance U.S. interests than the interests of an international organization whose masters are often some of the world’s most notorious dictators, despots and tyrants.

“John Bolton is a man of accomplishment who has never wavered in his commitment to defending America’s best interests. As the U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. he will speak truth to power.

“So far we’ve seen nothing but inexcusable grandstanding from those still bitter that their party lost in the last presidential election, and they keep clamoring for a different foreign policy than was endorsed by the American people. The Senators who are attacking John Bolton seem to have forgotten that the candidate who advocated for a “global test” before the U.S. tookmade foreign policy decisions was defeated at the polls. ”

MELANIE MORGAN, Co-Chair, Move America Forward:

“Thus far in the John Bolton hearings we have seen Senators more concerned with the interests of Kofi Annan, than what is best for the United States. Shame on these Senators for attacking John Bolton for standing up for American values.

“The hostility and rudeness emanating from Senators Feingold and Boxer is disgraceful. They have treated John Bolton as if he was someone who advocated anti-American policies and views.

“He has been an unwavering voice for pro-American policies and he has stood up to those who seek to blame America for all the world’s problems.

“The Senators who have ambushed John Bolton seem more in tune with Kofi Annan and the tyrants, despots and dictators who dominate the U.N. than President Bush and the interests of the American people.”

# # #

Willing to Die for Iraq?

[To begin with a side note, on the television right now is an interview with the actor Mickey Rourke, and I must say he looks very different and sounds like he has been to the far corners and back again a few times. The appearance is a bit disconcerting but the message seems compelling. I will be interested in learning more about what life has taught this man.]

In response to John Climacus' final inflammatory post, we received a comment from the individual Hub of the Universe, to which I will be privileged to reply in John's absence. It's probably better that John took his leave before this interchange could take place, although after reading the background I would guess diving into it would have made Climacus' week.

Here is Hub's reply:

I promised myself I would not rise to take the bait. Or that, if I did, I would limit myself to a short retort in keeping with the spirit (and seriousness) of your next-to-last paragraph -- along the lines of, Nah, Nah, Nah, Hope you die, Hope your house burns down. Like the blogger, this poster has burned out in the blogosphere. I have better things to do with my time than respond to screeds, or so I thought. But I have been drinking, and since the Chimpmaster has weighed in, I'll rapidly add:

Yeah, w won -- Duh -- but by the smallest margin ever of any president seeking a second term, while a war (he launched) was underway, against a candidate who had promised (responsibly) to raise taxes. Yes, w's opponents made unprecedented efforts to unseat him, but those were more than matched by his team. Lovely stuff like the Smearboat and getting hold of church membership registries to solicit cash and votes. Oh, and by the way, have you checked w's poll ratings lately?

Iraq - mission accomplished! It will be 5 to 10 years at least before we can assess whether our efforts will bring any measure of lasting stability and progress to that country, without keeping us permanently embroiled in that country. One can only hope for that result, and if it transpires, w will deserve the credit. But even if it does there remains the question of the cost, which the champions of the war always ignore, as they continue to wipe the egg of No WMDs off their faces. Ask yourself whether you would have been willing to sacrifice your own life or the life of your child for Iraq - don't lie, don't conflate Iraq with Afghanistan, and don't link to Newsmax, the Moonie Times, Malkin or other nutjob sources. Of course, that's not the only question that counts, but it's a relevant one, particularly in the case of an elective war -- unless, that is, you think (as the Bushes do) that wars were meant to be fought by other people's children.

Yeah, he won. But people also favor Madonna, Celine Dion, Danielle Steele, and Tom Clancy, and I remain part of the minority that doesn't. Proudly. You take w and Reagan. I'll take FDR and Clinton - anyday.

You forgot a sentence -- at the end of your next-to-last paragraph, add: Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance.

As one who supported President George W. Bush's re-election unabashedly, I think I can nevertheless respond objectively because my support was not so much for Bush the man, but for Bush the GOP candidate; i.e., the only choice besides John Kerry. I was not very impressed with Kerry, nor am I much impressed with the Democratic Party leadership; therefore my support was only going to go in one direction.

On the questions of how fairly President Bush's team fought or how comprehensively President Bush influenced the 'thinking' electorate, I will just echo your 'duh' comment and say that's the way it's done. You know that, of course. I don't recall thinking at any point that the Democrats were 'fighting the good fight' and the Republicans were the guys in black hats.

I think the central message of the next to last paragraph of Climacus' post was that Bush's election for a second term was an end in itself. Simple point and, you are saying, maybe a silly point, but for more than a few people it denoted the culmination of a significant effort which can never be undone. Maybe the only response is 'hope your house burns down.' Point taken.

You offer that if the final historic judgment is that Iraq (and presumably Afghanistan, Syria, and/or any of the other sand-weathered, hookah-smoking populaces of the Middle East) turns out better for the furtherance of world peace because of the initiatives of George W. Bush, you will give Bush the credit. Good.

Your question about the 'cost,' however, strikes me as your key argument, the one that motivates the other points. 'Ask yourself whether you would have been willing to sacrifice your own life or the life of your child for Iraq.' Good question....but:

The answer to the Michael-Moore-question is, first, 'It's a stupid question.' (Sorry for the redundancy).

We don't will to 'sacrifice' our children, because they have to be 18 years of age and make their own decisions to enter the armed forces. The entire spectre of parents signing their children up for service and earmarking them for war is a chimera - it hasn't happened for many, many generations in this country. That is a sick joke, almost like Mr. Moore is challenging us to shoot our kids in the head and say 'I'm glad I killed my child, because Iraqis are voting.' It assumes the result in order to prejudge the cause.

The sacrifice of anyone's life is hypothetical until it occurs - it's the same as saying 'Would you be willing to sacrifice your child for a poorly marked highway intersection.' You know this is ridiculous, of course. I'd let them drive, but I'm not 'willing to sacrifice' them. Let's take that notion off the table, then, ok?

The real question on that note is: 'How would you feel if your child enlisted in the Army or Marines to fight in Iraq?' The answer is: 'Infinitely serious, and sober, and supportive.' If I had kids, male or female, I would not want them to die - in a war or otherwise.

But when I bid the hypothetical offspring adieu to graduate school in a major city, or a trip to a foreign country, or a highway cruise with friends to a concert in some distant part of the U.S., I am taking a calculated risk. I could attempt to stop them, or let them go ahead. As most parents of older teenagers know, you tend to let them go ahead because in the end you really don't have much of a choice. Whenever they leave home, they may not come back, but you have to let them leave anyway.

If I had children (and I can speak with some authority on this because among the wee ones among my nieces and nephews are some I count as very close to my children) I'd be quite focused by the news they were enlisting. I would not jump up and down cheering and waving the flag. Internally, I'd rue the day. Anyone who didn't would be a shallow person.

But I'd say 'Go get'em, sister. Go kick some ass. It's the most important thing you can do with your life. Fighting these bastards is what it is all about. Use all the intelligence and skill you have and come back alive.'

You also ask whether I would be willing to sacrifice my own life 'for Iraq.' Would I be willing to risk it? Yes. Would I be willing to sacrifice it? No.

Sacrificing my life would be the last option, and one I'd never admit before it was done. Going in with the acknowledgement 'I'd be willing to sacrifice' would be the same as going into an athletic contest saying 'I'd be willing to lose.'

UPDATE: I forgot to add that I hope the President continues to have absolutely no concern for his approval numbers in the polls. If he hasn't accomplished anything within the next year his party will likely get trounced in the mid-term elections; but even so, a second term is the ideal opportunity to do what you think is right regardless of what the masses (or, rather, the mass media) think about it.

As a closing note, perhaps at least between ourselves we can say we have aired the differences, most of which will remain (but at least in the context of a better understanding of our respective viewpoints), but which should not be a source of hard feelings. Climacus is duty-bound to stay away until the anger subsides; my role has always been more of the irreverent than the inflammary (and we hope poking fun will never be considered out of bounds); and the good Dr. Turner is only here when the Forum needs a compensatory dose of long-winded tediousness to balance out the froth.

We apologize for stirring up unhealthy passions. The purpose here is not to make the world a crankier place, but only to provide an outlet for those already so inclined.

Find myself a city to live in...

...or perhaps just reminisce about.

This is pretty neat: New Google Satellite Map, right down to the rooftop level. (Click on the 'Satellite' link in the upper right to get this view, then type in a precise street address, city and state in the Search form).

Ah the life I have lived, from the great Northeast...



To the markedly greater Southeast...



To the singularly less-great Mid-Atlantic Suburban Conglomeration.



The present goal is to ensure by my octogenarian years I'll have woken up many hundreds of mornings and said, 'This must be the place.'

07, 2005

Jenna Bush fan club starts here

Be still, my aging heart.

One would surmise, for the late night funnymen, the Bush White House is the gift that keeps on giving.

06, 2005

Au revoir, les enfants...

One more statement before I bow out, and maybe on a more properly humane note:

It looks like we are saying goodbye to a family member.

Draco was the best of a bad brood, the runt of the litter and the kid among criminals. The rather serious unpleasantness of last Fall came about because our other two cats were big, furry, stupid allergens who just about killed me. We had to move to a situation in which the cats could live outside our house (with a not-too-shabby cat shed as the primary abode).

We knew there would be risks, but none as severe as the one posed last October when we believed we would have to put them all to sleep.

Getting them a yard to live in seemed like the best possible solution - check that: it was the only solution short of putting them down.

But Draco was the smart one, and by far the most athletic, and he alas is the one who managed to scale the 6-foot fence. My wife circulated 145 flyers to every house in the neighborhood but now two weeks have passed and we only had one sighting reported right after he disappeared.

The irony is, Draco was the smartest and as a short hair the least of an allergen. Thus he was more like a dog, which I believe is what every cat should aspire to.

He was psychologically devastated by the 2-month period from October-December when the three cats had to be lodged before we moved. A very smart little animal, he did not easily accept the change from having run-of-the-house to living in a cage. (The other two, much less smart, were much less affected).

Once we moved, Draco had just become, after 6 weeks or so, acclimated to the new, semi-outdoor life here in the bigger yard, and seemed like he would love it. Running pell mell, stalking birds, killing mice, the whole cat-life-enchilada: Draco seemed to have rebounded completely.

Then, just days before we left for Vegas, he leaped the fence.

I hate it because he was the most interesting of the three, and the most redeeming of the species.

I also hate it because he was an incredibly intelligent, yet young, siamese, and any suffering he may be undergoing with the terrible rain we have had since he left, the cars he never learned to deal with, and all the other contingencies of life in the wild, would be multiplied in my mind. There's a much greater empathy factor for a smarter animal. You could carry on a conversation with Draco.

He is a very attractive chocolate-point with light blue eyes, so we hold out the hope that some family took him in and ignored the collar and tag with our phone number and just decided to steal him. That would be ok. But he was absolutely paranoid - scared of his own shadow - so we are being a little optimistic in thinking he might have allowed himself to be taken in.

Life brings a multitude of tragedies and regrets. The loss of a kitten is, in the big picture, not the type of thing to make you question the meaning of existence. But if our enjoyment of the time with him was real, then to lose him is by the same token truly sad.

Goodbye, kid. As far as cats go, you were one of the good ones.

Ignoring the news can be bracing

Every time I am forced to miss the news of the day for any extended period of time my entire mental state improves.

Sure, the ubiquity of it all - Internet news, NY Post, Wash Times, talk radio, blogs, etc. etc. - 24/7 comprises an embarrassment of riches. It's great to have the information available.

But in another equally valid sense, it sucks.

Part of the reason is, the 'ubiquity of news' really means 'ubiquity of news about idiots.' Because, in the end, it's the dumbasses that get our attention, provoke comment and conversation, and become the continuing stories.

The other reason is, there arises disproportionate excitement over every damn thing that happens because you have so many folks waiting with bated breath to comment on SOMETHING.

It can be caricatured as the spectacle of a bunch of unshaven 'eschaton' comrades who already lost the war, peering out of their prison cells, cheering with gusto each time a sea gull shits on the warden's limo.

Pointless talk. And worse than pointless to encourage them by listening: It's a waste of their life and, more importantly, mine.

So to improve my own psychological state and perhaps provide an opening for some more positive future contributions here, I am going to back off (again) for a little while. First I'll leave one final non-edifying thought.

Memo to progressives: You lost. GW Bush is president for a second term. That was the war and it's over. The continuing effort to 'tar' W's presidency with a party scandal or PR failure won't change the outcome of the election one little tiny bit. The guns brought out against the GOP in the last battle were so massive that the scale of their failure was historic. Nothing will ever erase that failure. A resignation here, a presidential initiative collapse there, won't amount to a drop in the ocean. History will remember George W. Bush as a candidate who overcame overwhelming adversity (hey - Carville said it, not me: 'If Bush wins reelection, it will be the chief most political accomplishment in my lifetime'). He won. In light of that fact, your conversation becomes tiresome.

On that note I must bid farewell for now. Angus? Dr. Turner? Anyone? You all better jump in here or it will be the Alpaca Burger Dead-Message Board.

05, 2005

Americans Revoking Naming Rights from 'American' Airlines

If I were to dump a truckload of cow crap in the middle of a parking lot, and place a sign saying 'Walt Disney Mountain,' I expect I'd get some grief from the Disney legal team.

By the same token, I'm a little teed off about the 'Airline' leeching off the 'American' brand.

I don't know the history on this one.

What I do know is I left my hotel in Las Vegas yesterday morning REAL early and just got home to my house in Virginia a short time ago. That's approximately 40 hours, door to door. Multiple bumped flights.

'American' changed our flight time from Vegas without telling us and then for the next two days essentially has treated us like unwelcome idiots and at every customer service point has taken the attitude that 'You have a problem.'

Not one single apology from the fine folks at American Airlines. God love'm.

So my present thinking is: If you are going to have a really sucky company, you should not allow it to name itself after your country. Let it exist - sure - but make sure it is accurately identified.

Just like with the truly horrible 'countries' of the present day, there needs to be truth in advertising. You need to be able to say: 'Hey, dumb sh*ts, you are NOT a country. You are a JOKE.' And you need to be able to say to those who work at the purported 'company': 'Hey, losers, if the market has any say in this, you are all going to end up homeless and unemployed working for this sh*thole company.'

I'm thinking, therefore, that the American Airlines motto should not be 'We're American Airlines, and we know why you fly.'

The American Airlines motto should be 'We're American Airlines. F*ck you. Send us your money and stay home.'

This consumer report on American Airlines would say: American Airlines is one of the biggest companies in the world and one of the worst customer service organizations in the world. Travel at your own risk. If you absolutely need to get there, do not fly American Airlines. American Airlines does not care one whit if you actually get to where you have paid to go. Too bad for you.

How about 'House of Suck Airlines' then? That seems to fit.

02, 2005

Blogless yet smug in Vegas

At least I am not losing money, having given up the vice over a decade ago after only a few brief attempts to learn 'gaming' before discovering I have no aptitude whatsoever for it. A vice I don't have - yay!

So now when I go to this place for work, which I do pretty much every year at least once, my extremely early am forays for coffee or newspapers or whatever are like when you drive by a police car and you know deep in your heart there is nothing they could arrest you for even if they wanted to.

It's that self-satisfied feeling at 3:45 am which says to all those you pass: "A-ha! I am just waking up, yet I see you have not yet gone to bed! I am about to have a productive day, yet you have been burning all your cash! Too bad for you!"

Well, anyway, the other hallmark of my typical Las Vegas trip is No Free Time At All. That's the great thing about work: It eradicates one's personal life.

So from one automoton to another: Greetings, fellow unit. Have a fine day and keep your mind on the job. No blogging. The Man is watching.