The problem, as indicated the other day, shall be formulated thusly:

How does one go about using and appreciating an OUTSTANDING grill without slipping into WORSHIP of said grill? (First in a series)

Background information: While Dr. Winston Turner is out of town, I have been charged with 'keeping an eye' on his place. This means plants watered, herbs harvested, mail brought in and ...well, what have we here: An absolute beast of a barbecue which certainly needs to be fired up once in a while, if nothing else to keep the spiders from establishing a toehold.

To that end, over the past five days I have prepared approximately eight meals on this wonderful, exceptional, practically flawless piece of outdoor living equipment, and I must say my initial feelings of admiration have evolved into something a tad...deeper:

Before we attempt to solve the problem, here are a few observations about this hot little number:

-Dr. Turner purchased the Sonoma at Costco for only $499. Comparable stainless units at Barbecues Galore cost at least twice as much. (How is this possible? Hint: May you live in interesting times.

-It's heavy as a tank and solid as a Mercedes. Everything but the gas hose, tires and electrical wires are 304 food-service-quality stainless steel. With a little 3M Stainless Steel Cleaner it buffs to a magnificent shine (mmmm, buffing�.)

-With all three internal burners fired up it reaches 700 degrees in about 12 minutes. Sear away!

-A double layer of heat-dispersing plates keeps flare-ups to a minimum.

-The electric starter ignites the burners in three seconds or less every time.

-Separate rear-mounted infrared rotisserie burner reaches full heat in a minute.

-Only weak points I've observed: More rivets than welds, and the rotisserie bracket was 1/4 inch too wide and needed to be bent in a bit to keep the bar from popping out of the motor.

Last night's offering... hmm, maybe a bad choice of words there ... was a 5 lb leg of lamb, marinated for 12 hours in a mixture of lemon juice, lemon zest, garlic, mint, basil, apple cider vinegar and black pepper. On the rotisserie at high heat for 1.5 hours. Remove from bar and let stand for 10 minutes. Result:

I think we may actually have a double-commandment infraction developing, because there's some covetousness creeping in as well. It is a slippery, slippery slope...