[Editors note: Bad language warning. Climacus has been home for several hours, and he's annoyed, and we all know what that means. Read at your own moral peril.]

Reflecting on some reactions to President Bush's speech about the planned federal response to the crisis on the Gulf coast, I think some of the critics are way off-base.

I'm not referring to the typical response from ankle-biting liberal goobers. I'm talking about the supposedly 'smart,' 'informed,' 'conservative' scribes on the Corner.

It's no major surprise to hear lameness from the Corner crew, of course. But the claim the President needs to do a better job 'emoting' rather than delivering a 'laundry list' of federal plans to address the current situation betrays significant misunderstanding of the situation.

Dreher and JPod would have preferred to see a performance more akin to W's speech from atop the rubble pile at Ground Zero, a more avuncular, 'rah rah' Presidential moment.

Give me a break. This situation is completely different, in some ways much more upsetting, and without such a clear-cut solution.

After 9-11, the answer was obvious: Identify the bad guys, and then go kill'em. That's a message you can shout from the rubble heap. That's a ready-made rallying cry.

Amidst the devastation in Louisiana and Mississippi, you can't survey the landscape and whip up righteous outrage to go kick ass and give any hope whatsoever of dealing with the problem. This situation is nebulous, and ominous, and potentially hopeless.

New Orleans and Biloxi will not be healed with a boost of confidence. New Orleans and Biloxi need A) massive material assistance, and B) a thoroughgoing structural review from top to bottom.

The President just reviewed the wreckage from Air Force One. The view from the sky does not make you say 'we're gonna get the bastards who did this.' Check out the 'Skycopter on the Gulf Coast' videos: You'll see the view from the sky makes you say 'What in the FUCK are these people supposed to do now?' Or, more likely: 'Why the hell should people be living here?'

I think he was dead cold serious in the delivery of this speech because there is the real danger of major social breakdown without immediate intervention (the breakdown is already underway). Also because there are NO good solutions to the problem of how this geographical cluster-fuck is to be overcome.

The President is tasked with fixing an engineering problem that may not have a solution in the long run:

In 1718, French colonist Jean Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville ignored his engineers' warnings about the hazards of flooding and mapped a settlement in a pinch of swampland between the mouth of the Mississippi River, the Gulf of Mexico and a massive lake to the north.

Ever since, the water has sustained New Orleans and perpetually threatened it. Somehow, until this week, the mystique of the water had always washed away the foreboding of disaster, as if carrying the city's worries downstream. That was true even early Tuesday morning, when Hurricane Katrina's last-minute veer to the east convinced many residents they had once again eluded the Fates.

But when the rainfall brought by Katrina breached levees and overwhelmed the city's pumping stations, the catastrophic consequences of Bienville's miscalculation could no longer be ignored.

I think he is a big-picture kind of guy, and therefore you have to cut him some slack if the big picture of this mess does not inspire rousing speeches from behind a bullhorn.

New Orleans has given no minor evidence of it's shortcomings in the past, and now that the hurricane has brought into daylight the upshot of a generation's worth of social and public policy dissipation, Bush is expected to sweep it all clean:

The truth is that even on a normal day, New Orleans is a sad city. Sure, tourists think New Orleans is fun: you can drink and hop from strip club to strip club all night on Bourbon Street, and gamble all your money away at Harrah’s. But the city’s decline over the past three decades has left it impoverished and lacking the resources to build its economy from within. New Orleans can’t take care of itself even when it is not 80 percent underwater; what is it going to do now, as waters continue to cripple it, and thousands of looters systematically destroy what Katrina left unscathed?

(Read all of that one, by the way).

Anyone who is forced to consider seriously the prospects of the economic and logistical challenges 'rebuilding' New Orleans and Gulfport will pose, has to conclude there are no immediate solutions but only hard, hard choices.

What do you say about all the folks in refugee camps who are going to have to stay away for months: Hey Dreher and Podhoretz, you guys want to write THAT oratory for atop the rubble pile?

Here's how that speech would go: 'I know you've been living in a flood zone; the world knows you've been living in a flood zone; maybe if we can pull our heads out of our collective asses we'll quit building homes in flood zones!!'

W can't give THAT speech on the verge of the greatest humanitarian crisis in American history. He can't turn back the clock and deliver a New Orleans with virtuous government, diversified economy, sensible elevation and cops who aren't criminals.

All W can do is try to save lives and get people the hell out of there in the short term, give hope that there will be some kind of future for these godforsaken areas, and stabilize the situation so the hard questions can be addressed without rampant chaos pushing the issue. He's doing that. Enough griping from the peanut gallery.

Posted by John Climacus at 11:09 | Permalink

The WWL TV blog is the best source to keep up with what is really happening in New Orleans. But this is like a huge horror story unfolding little by little. No one has the full picture yet:

3:55 P.M. - 40-year veteran photographer Willie Wilson: Maybe one other time in my career did I shoot pictures crying...

3:52 P.M. - Chalmette man. I spent 40 hours on a roof then God sent a boat from a neighbor's house floating by and we took it to safety.

3:52 P.M. - (AP) Gov. Kathleen Blanco has said that she wants the Superdome evacuated within two days because the situation has been worsening there. The water has been rising, the air conditioning was out and toilets were broken.

3:50 P.M. - Crying woman: "I'll never stay for a hurricane again."

3:49 P.M. - Survivor from Chalmette: We spent two days on a roof, swam to a storefront, food was pouring out, we ate it, we drank the water. We had to do something. There's no help...

3:46 P.M. - Tugboat captain: We have so little help. Send us some food and water immediately!

3:45 P.M. (AP) - Hurricane Katrina probably killed thousands of people in New Orleans, the mayor said Wednesday -- an estimate that, if accurate, would make the storm the nation's deadliest natural disaster since at least the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.

"We know there is a significant number of dead bodies in the water," and other people dead in attics, Mayor Ray Nagin said. Asked how many, he said: "Minimum, hundreds. Most likely, thousands."

The frightening estimate came as Army engineers struggled to plug New Orleans' breached levees with giant sandbags and concrete barriers, while authorities drew up plans to clear out the tens of thousands of people left in the Big Easy and all but abandon the flooded-out city. Many of the evacuees -- including thousands now staying in the Superdome -- will be moved to the Astrodome in Houston, 350 miles away.

3:44 P.M. - Tugboat captain who rescued those in Chalmette. "Without more help, many people will die."...

3:38 P.M. - HOUSTON (AP) -- Red Cross workers today began transforming what was once known as the Eighth Wonder of the World -- into temporary housing.

Buses will shuttle thousands of Hurricane Katrina evacuees from the Superdome in New Orleans to the vacant Astrodome in Houston.

Cots and blankets for up to 25-thousand people are being set up on the Astrodome floor.

Other areas of the stadium are being configured to accommodate refugees with varying needs, including a nursery. Stadium managers are working to get T-V's and find programming to allow people to keep up with the latest news about flooded New Orleans.

The Astrodome agreement was worked out by Texas Governor Rick Perry and Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco.

Posted by John Climacus at 05:10 | Permalink

A good friend about 200 miles due north of New Orleans just sent this.

After I sent your emails last night I watched the news at the office and saw some families interviewed. this is the most traumatic event I have ever seen. Bodies are floating in the water in south MS and south LA - mostly New Orleans. I have some very close friends in New Orleans and Houma and their belongings are gone - nothing left where their homes were. Gas $3.00 a gallon and going up. Electricity at our home here in Brandon at the Reservoir area will be out for a week or more. We had to go 30 miles to get gas, and ice is impossible to get for the time being. MS is known for being a hospitality state and every shelter available is full and we are running out of food to feed them. The coliseum here in Jackson is overflowing with families from the coast and New Orleans and they are asking for meat that may be thawing out or has thawed out to feed the families.

Our governor broke down on TV and could not hold back from crying on TV and he is a friend of our family and a very sincere man. He is heartbroken for all these families that have nothing to go back to.

I lived there half my life and I am thinking if I was one of my friends at this time. It is heartbreaking to say the least and as I write this email I can't help it either - tears just flow for these people. I thought I was a strong person. I realize now I am a person that cares so much for these families that are in such turmoil. I can't imagine standing in food lines to get food, water and necessities and my friends are doing just that as I write this.

I talked to XXXX just two days before this happened and cannot get in touch with him or some of the XXXX executives I know. This is terrible and as our governor and our President says - this is the worst disaster that has ever touched our country - and it is in our back yard. My best friend in school took his family to Greenville, MS and has nothing to go back to. My wife's niece is a nurse at the Air Force hospital in Gulfport and owns a home in Gulfport. No one can get in touch with her, but the area she lives in was on TV and showed to be wiped out.

This is much more than I was aware of yesterday. We were so busy trying to prepare for ourselves we had no idea it was this traumatic.

South MS and south LA will never be the same again.

Long Beach and Bay St. Louis are both wiped off the map and they were tourist towns between Slidell, LA and Biloxi.

I never thought I would live to see something like this. This seems like something out of the Bible that could happen and it is happening now.

...and that's without even having any idea of the body count.

UPDATE- just received:

There are no words to describe this catastrophe. The old saying a picture is worth a thousand words is so suited for this. Can you imagine bodies floating down the street or over your yard in three to four feet of water. I talked to XXXXX in California this morning. He said he cannot get in touch with anyone. The only thing he was aware of was that the headquarters did receive water damage, but other than that the building is in good shape - from what he knows and told me.

Word now is our home may be without electricity until September 10th. The wife and I are bringing sleeping bags to the office to stay at night. Last night it was 85 and no wind was blowing and neither got any sleep and now she is sick from all this extra work and mental exertion.

All can say is this is very dark days in our times and the word from the ones that are supposed to know is that it will never be the same again - in so many directions. All the jobs the casinos brought in are now gone and most of those people lost everything and are now going to other parts of the country and not coming back. They are talking abut it being a year before safe water is restored to the coast and the same for safe sewage facilities. Can you imagine.

I have that paper and will send in a few days. The local postal service is shut down. However, you may go on the internet to www.clarionledger.com and what ever the email address is for The Times Picayune in New Orleans and The Morning Advocate in Baton Rouge. I understand Fox news has some good internet coverage and footage.

Since I emailed you earlier the local TV showed people from New Orleans in line at all the Home Depots trying to get generators. Home Depot shipped in thousands of Generators to Jackson. We are about the nearest town of any size to offer any help and our help is now spread thin. Gas is about gone and the price when some comes in will be a minimum of $3.00 a gallon. And, word is we cannot charge more than the rest of the country so gas in the rest of the country is going up because of this.

Can you imagine looking at those casinos on the water side of highway 90 and now most are on the north side of highway 90 - just picked up and moved over crushing anything in their path. I understand a church was demolished by one of these casino barges that was uplifted and moved across the highway.

I also understand now that nearly all of the bridges and overpasses along highway and some on I-10 have been totally destroyed. One was over a mile long and gone - only the concrete pilings sticking out of the water are left.

When we think we have it so bad, just think of all those families that have lost everything they own - that cannot ever be replaced - I mean thousands of families. And, their places of employment are gone so they have no income either.

Now for our personal predicament. Saturday and Sunday we moved vital records - contracts, etc., computers, etc. out of the office to what we thought was a safer place, but ended up leaving them in our Excursion. It just so happens we purchased a modular office building for temporary use for two to three years and it has two bath rooms and a bath tub and shower, kitchen with stove, frig and microwave. Now we are moving the office materials back in and some home belongings with sleeping bags. What an experience. The only thing is food and gas is becoming so short. I guess when the stores have electricity they can open and will have food, but all food that has to be cooled or frozen has been lost and the news is saying it may be a while before we have fresh meat and vegetables for a while and the cost of that will also be up.

Our business has come to a complete halt. No activity at all. This major catastrophe has caused a domino effect on all businesses and families for hundreds of miles from the coast. We are 160 miles from the coast and do not have it near as bad as them, but it is rough so to speak. However, ours is short time compared to the families and businesses on the coast.

I think this will be all I can do for a while now, we have so much to do to get back in the groove and hopefully business will resume.

Posted by John Climacus at 12:31 | Permalink

I'm sure they'd all rather be going home, but AC and functioning toilets are going to be looking pretty sweet about now.

Posted by John Climacus at 12:21 | Permalink

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin just said on TV the 30,000+ people trapped in the Superdome will be in there 'at least another week' because of the rising water outside.

Governor Kathleen Blanco says it will be evacuated within two days.

No electricity or air conditioning. Trapped in the dark in Louisiana summer heat surrounded by the stench of broken toilets and legions of desperate fellow humans. Everyone having lost homes and jobs. Water rising within the building.

I start to get edgy after about 10 minutes in the line at the supermarket.

Even the governor is being optimistic: They'll need to either get some generators in place or get those people out of there by tonight, or that place is going to explode - as Florida Cracker noted yesterday morning when there were only 10,000 'residing' in the Superdome.

They're already saying the city will be uninhabitable for two months.

They could do amazing logistical things if Michael Jackson announced he was doing a free concert at the Superdome with two days notice. The Army Corps of Engineers will be available to help make it all happen: There's got to be a way to get a couple hundred port-a-johns and a few big generators in place.

Posted by John Climacus at 02:24 | Permalink

It's going to get worse before it gets any better.

-Click Here To Learn How To Help

-Click Here For Latest News

UPDATE: Check out this link to the home page of WLBT television - if you have a broadband connection, watch the 'Skycopter on the Gulf Coast - Second Tour' video. The devastation in Mississippi is just unbelievable

UPDATE: IF YOU ARE IN ONE OF THE AFFECTED AREAS AND NEED HELP, call the American Red Cross, 1-866-438-4636

UPDATE: The State Police road closure hotline number has been discontinued. The inability of a number of 911 centers to receive calls requires the road closure hotline number now be used for emergency 911 calls only.-- If you have a 911 emergency in a storm-affected area call 1-800-469-4828. Do not call this number for road closure information. Use of this line for road closure will prevent emergency calls from being answered. The public can still obtain road closure information from the Louisiana State Police web site at www.lsp.org.

HOW YOU CAN HELP:

• Hurricane Katrina Help Wiki (good compendium of information)

• A database is being developed for people who are missing and may need to be rescued from New Orleans. Call 225-925-6626 to give officials their names. They may also have information about people already rescued.

• Due to the large amounts of flooding, state police officials are requesting volunteers and/or their boats to assist in operations in the New Orleans area. Those who are interested in volunteering themselves or their boats are encouraged to call 1-225-925-7500.

• FEMA lists agencies to contact, to volunteer or send donations

• Relief agencies seek donations for hurricane victims

• American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund

• Red Cross: Volunteers needed

• Samaritan's Purse

• Salvation Army

• Feed the Children

• United Methodist Church

• Episcopal Relief and Development

• Operation Blessing International

• Catholic Charities
  

LATEST NEWS:

• New Orleans Mayor: Katrina May Have Killed Thousands

• Convoy prepares to bring Katrina refugees to Astrodome

• Refugees roam as all hotels within hundreds of miles are booked

• Americans Contribute Millions for Relief

• Mississippi: Katrina damage, town by town

• An Iconic City Can't Replace the Irreplaceable

• New Orleans' Tragic Paradox

• 'Caskets are everywhere'

• 17th Street Canal repair fails; floodwater expected to rise 15 feet in next few hours

• Massive Storm Damage Found in Alabama

• Governor says entire city needs to be evacuated

• Bayoubuzz launches Hurricane Katrina Web Page

• Caskets knocked out of mausoleum at memorial park

• Mortuary disaster teams dispatched from Texas

• More than 2.7 million without power

• Rare strokes of luck mark rescue

• Victims left with nothing

• Watch Live Video of Damage and Rescue Operations (WDSU hurricane coverage)

• More than 95 percent of Gulf oil production lost

• Biloxi fears hundreds dead

• 'I can't find my wife's body' - 30 reported dead in MS beachfront apartment complex

• N.O. residents will be asked to stay away for a month

• Body count rises, over 1 million without power

• Check BayouBuzz for local updates

• Check WWLTV for News Updates about the Situation in New Orleans

• 'Worse than our worst fears': Minute-by-minute updates here

• Long distance and cell services failing

• Anheuser-Busch donates water in hurricane relief move

• Lowe's Prepared for Hurricane Katrina Relief

Posted by John Climacus at 01:59 | Permalink

That's 'grave' as a noun, not a modifier.

[UPDATE: Bad stuff along these lines is starting to happen; check this post for continual updates]

[For direct reports on the hurricane bearing down on New Orleans, Alpaca Burger buddies Florida Cracker and MonkeyWatch have some good links. Also, as we once noted under very different circumstances, New Orleans Cam Central could provide some vivid real time images until the cameras all get blown down.]

One of the chief attractions of the famous New Orleans 'cemetery tours' are the semi-above-ground crypt burials. Because of the high water level (translated as 'low LAND level'), burials in New Orleans can't go down anything like the customary six feet. They only go down a short distance, and compensate for the exposure by putting many of the bodies in stone (of various types) crypts that protrude above the surface. Very picturesque, these 'Cities of the Dead'.

Also, during a flood condition, potentially horrifying. More on cemetery floods here, here, and here.

Because of the extensive use of stone, caskets should not be popping to the surface in New Orleans in such large numbers as might be the case in other parts of the country. But boy oh boy it only takes a few to make a big impression.

Of course there could be a serious public health aspect as well.

If the water situation evolves as they are saying it will (20-30 ft in the French Quarter???), floating caskets throughout the area are a real possibility. I think that would go in the 'adding insult to injury' folder. Let's hope this storm weakens.

UPDATE: It was just pointed out to me that the New Orleans Cam link I mentioned above is the same link as in the MonkeyWatch reference in the previous sentence. Sorry: My background is in advertising, and I just instinctively believe you have to hit them more than once for the point to sink in. Redundancy is your friend.

[Now I'm thinking, maybe they should just devote the entire Bonfire to this site this week.]

Posted by John Climacus at 12:42 | Permalink

I don't have the time to do an actual post right now but I want to get a comment by Ed on this post (about HIS post) out of the comments and into the open before we make the transition to Movable Type and possibly lose all comments.

Hmm, now that sentence is looking VERY Bonfire-worthy. Despite the artless intro, however, this below is provocative and I plan to get back to it after everything settles down.

Foxylibrarian, who encounters all sorts in her work, mentions that distinctive sweaty metallic odor of schizophrenia. I was reminded of her post when reading the Indymedia article. Believing in one conspiracy theory might be quaint and eccentric. Believing in them all and linking them together into one grand conspiracy, dating back to the Egyptian Book of the Dead, that's not just bad programming, that's broken hardware.

That point where you draw the line between bad programming and broken hardware is an interesting one; and the term 'broken hardware' is a really apt metaphor, in my view, because I think it's a disposition previously normal-thinking people can slip into.

Posted by John Climacus at 10:52 | Permalink

Gee...ya' think?

This should be instructive for all those who thought it was just a case of somebody who never learned his manners.

Makes you wonder if some of these pastors ever READ that book they're supposed to be preaching from.

Posted by John Climacus at 10:23 | Permalink

When MonkeyWatch reports on the human species, it tends to be worth reading.

Posted by John Climacus at 03:21 | Permalink

Beginning August 29, Monday-Friday 12-1pm EST, Michael Graham is back with an Internet broadcast called Michael Graham, Unleashed!

Here's the announement from Michael's site:

Finally! I'm going to be back on the radio again--and the best part is, they'll be able to hear it in Washington, DC!

Starting this Monday, I'll be on Rightalk.com every weekday at noon for a one-hour edition of a new radio show, "Michael Graham, Unleashed!" No liberal network execs, no advertisers, not even the FCC. You'll be able to listen live, or the show will be available for podcasting or downloading every hour, on the hour. And that includes INSIDE The beltway, too.

I'm very excited about Rightalk.com, not just because they're fellow conservatives, but because they're on the cutting edge of the future of radio as the technology moves from an AM receiver to digital, satellite, wifi and even CELLULAR radio technology. Rightalk.com has asked me to do this show, not because they necessarily agree with everything I say, but because they understand that free speech and open discourse are key elements in successful talk radio, not to mention successful democracies and thriving societies, too.

"Michael Graham, Unleashed," is going to be a very exciting experiment for me and I can't wait to get started. And yes--you will be able to call in live during the show. You can find out more about listening, calliing and downloading by going to www.rightalk.com.

Please, make plans to log on now! The very first show is this Monday at noon. Don't miss it!

AS SEEN ON THE "DRUDGE REPORT": Before my internet radio show begins, I'll be making my broadcast radio return doing a fill-in show for KFI in Los Angeles this Friday night from 7-9pm Pacific Time. Ironically, I'm filling in for John Zeigler, whose new book is "The Death Of Free Speech."

Smaller venues to start with, but the publicity surrounding this past month of jackassery by WMAL should give Michael a great surge of momentum and a ton of new listeners checking him out. They are in for a treat because this fellow has quite an original and humorous style. Great news!

Posted by John Climacus at 04:51 | Permalink

It's just one of those crazy Internet things: With no content about a topic, you can get still get many site visits from Web searchers simply because you mention a topic.

This Andy Willoughby business and his 'three-step plan' have become a mainstay for us, simply because some weeks ago we half-mindedly said:

Well, hello, how in the world are ya' anyway? I'm Andy Willoughby and I've got the three-step plan to help you and your family achieve your financial dreams, and you can do it all from the comfort of your own home....

I think half the visits here are from google searches on Andy Willoughby.

[HEY - I warned this scenario was coming, ok?]

Andy's radio commercial plays on one of the local 'Christian' stations and we mentioned it because:

A) Andy Willoughby sounds an awful lot like Ned Flanders, and

B) 'Christian' advertising on the whole seems like a slightly dodgy business.

I say this because on the face of it any company that places an ad on a Christian outlet and presents itself as 'one Christian to another' seems a little suspect. I'm not sure exactly how to explain this, but one illustration that comes to mind is the sale of indulgences, circa 1500 AD. 'A shilling in the bucket dings, another soul in heaven sings' or whatever the ditty was.

Clearly false advertising, but also apparently compelling because it says 'hey we're all going to heaven together, so hire us to build your deck,' as though Christianity was basically a confederation of believers with whom prime sponsorship opportunities are still available.

Andy Willoughby seems important as a lesson about this, because he comes off as blatantly trying to capitalize on a cultivated image of 'just one of us Christians' AND his product seems quite reminiscent of others propositions not generally respected when promoted this way: Home-based businesses.

I'll have to do a little digging when the time is available, to see what Andy is all about. In the meantime, I appreciate the visits.

Posted by John Climacus at 01:47 | Permalink | Comments (1)

He appears to have landed on his feet rather quickly, as reported by the intrepid nikita demosthenes.

Good show.

(I wonder if the Corner will still allow him to post. We'll follow up on this later).

Posted by John Climacus at 05:37 | Permalink

[WELCOME MICHAEL GRAHAM FANS! SCROLL DOWN FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS OF MICHAEL GRAHAM UPDATES. Want to know what you can DO about Michael's firing? Follow this link for information on contacting WMAL advertisers.]

[More info on the big announcement of Michael's firing here. Also here, and here. Lameness from The Corner here.]

WMAL, I ruminate on how ye sucketh.

Yea, yea, I am inspired to invent archaisms to express such suckitude,

For 'to suck' is bad, but to sucketh such as WMAL sucks, sucks singularly.

I am not a vindictive man.

Rather, check that: I am vindictive enough to pursue my enemies until the end of time, until they and their offspring's offspring have died and forgotten our quarrel. I shall rail against them from beyond the grave, via cleverly-planted land mines of condemnation, which will arise at the most embarrassing moments from the pages of history itself. I shall shout them down long after any rationale for shouting exists. I shall condemn them to hell with every breath of my being.

But apart from those activities, I really am not a vindictive man.

Here we condemn WMAL for the firing of Michael Graham, who was fired at the behest of the terrorist-sympathizing leadership of CAIR.

Sure, CAIR sucks, but you already knew that. What you may not have known is how truly WMAL sucks.

WMAL fired Ken Beatrice some years ago. Ken was a radio mastermind, an institution in the Washington DC metropolitan area. Ken was the best sports-talk-radio host ever, an encylopedia of information and a genius of rapport with the callers. He was an original - who had years of productivity left in him. He was fired not for anything he did, but simply as a result of the creeping suck-holiness of WMAL. We loved ye, Ken.

How comprehensively does WMAL suck?

We are inspired to invent oblique country aphorisms to express it:

WMAL 'sucks like blue ponies in winter.'

Sucking like blue ponies, WMAL - how you like them apples? We gots many more where that came from.

Last time I checked, there are plenty of slots left on the AM dial, plenty of places Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity can hang their hats. Plenty of room for a new radio station to squeeze in.

Maybe it's time WMAL gets shown the door in DC.

'Muy mal, WMAL' as our Hispanic brethren might say. 'W-BAD is the radio you deliver!'

When I was a child in the 1970s, my parents listened to WMAL, and I thought the station sucked. Then more recently, I listened to the various hosts and thought, 'Funny how it does not seem so bad since I am older.'

But I now realize, this was one of the few instances where your childhood perceptions were 100% accurate: WMAL does suck, always has sucked, and will suck until the plug is pulled.

So leave ye now, Rush and Sean: Move on to better stations in the DC area. Leave now, Fred and Andy, and John Batchelor. (Chris Core, maybe you can stay where you're at because someone has to go down with the ship, 'kay?)

Maybe if everyone boycotts WMAL and notifies the advertisers, the Disney company will unload it and someone will buy the station and rename it W-No-More-Suckin' in the Nation's Capital.

WNMS.

We hated them as kids. We tolerated them as adults. Now, perhaps not too late, we can see they needed to be put out to pasture a long time ago.

Top WMAL weasel Chris Berry says it was not a Disney or ABC decision to fire Michael Graham:

We have given him the option to return to the air. Unfortunately he did not respond and instead has decided to miscast the facts. In addition our discussions with Michael were made independently without discussion or influence by ANY third party.

Bully for Chris. He wanted Michael to apologise. Presumably he also wanted Michael to come over and enjoy some hummus, cardamom tea and readings from the Prophet.

Like a big, deep mud puddle under our collective shoes, WMAL sucks and sucks. Best to hop out of the mud, step away, wipe the dirt off our shoes and avoid that hole in the future.

UPDATE: Jeepers, on reading this through for the first second time, it's starting to look like I may be getting this Bonfire of the Vanities concept down cold.

Posted by John Climacus at 11:12 | Permalink

The Doorman's got a doozy from last night. Go forth and read:

Forty years old and still bouncing. No way to stop, either. Driving an oil delivery truck out in Brooklyn. Divorced. Two kids. Paying out the ass for a wife he never wanted and kids she'd rather he not see. Court-ordered visits. And a Cap'n and Coke after every shift, his head in his hands, knowing he won't be asleep until Sunday. Never seen a guy get so many blowjobs on the clock...

Posted by John Climacus at 05:22 | Permalink

Read it all:

In an article in the Kuwaiti daily Al-Siyasa, Dr. Shaker Al-Nabulsi, a Jordanian intellectual who resides in the U.S., asks why Islamic religious scholars haven't issued a fatwa against bin Laden.

"Doesn't the fact that to date not a single fatwa has been issued calling for killing bin Laden and the other Al-Qaeda leaders involved in terrorist operations in Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt… prove that many of the legal scholars who claim to be opposed to the waves of terrorism actually embrace these terrorist operations and secretly welcome them?

..."Terrorism in Doha, for example, is prohibited, and sheikhs demonstrate to denounce and condemn it – while terrorism in Baghdad, Riyadh, Cairo, Sharm Al-Sheikh, Taba, and other places, is [considered] permitted and also restores the desecrated honor of the Islamic nation… Would it be right and fair to condemn the West for its aggression against the East and not to condemn the Muslim who murders his Muslim or non-Muslim brother who committed no crime?

Posted by John Climacus at 11:08 | Permalink

(Ticked off about WMAL's firing of Michael Graham? Here's what you can do.)

(Please see the post below this one for the origination of all this. Names removed from posts for logistical reasons).

Michael's Fans:

You know, I don't know why I'm not surprised at this move by WMAL. It makes sense, right? "Let's all be nice to everyone and if one of our hosts says something that someone else does not like, let's FIRE them, instead of protecting their First Amendment right to free speech."

No offense to anyone that works at 630 WMAL, but you all in the leadership at the station should be ashamed of yourselves. You let an extremely honest person be fired, because a hateful group did not like what Michael had to say. This is downright wrong. I am in full support of Michael suing 630 WMAL for at least his lost wages on the grounds of a Free Speech violation on the part of 630 WMAL.

ooooooooooooooooo

It seems to me that it would be a good idea to try to get people like Limbaugh and Hannity to talk about Michael Graham mess.

In the meantime, I recommend Tony Snow in the same time slot on 1160.

ooooooooooooooooo

I totally agree Rush and Sean should talk about Michael. FYI--I can't get reception for Tony's show at work so I listen to Laura Ingraham on 570 during 9-noon.

ooooooooooooooooo

I have fired WMAL altogether. I can get Rush on WBAL (Baltimore) and Sean on WCBM (Baltimore) or XM. And, if I can't pick up the Baltimore broadcast stations for some reason, I will get Rush on podcast before I turn my dial to WMAL again. I will also listen to Tony Snow on WMET (1160) or on XM in Michael's slot.

I'm sorry that Fred and Andy and Chris Core will get caught in this. But the fact is, I cannot trust what I get from WMAL anymore. Whatever I get from them will have to pass a CAIR filter first.

ooooooooooooooooo

We should all email Ibrahim Hooper ihooper@cair-net.org , he had the nerve to call me up when my marketing director emailed him told him to do to Michael’s bold statements we have decided to advertise on WMAL (which now obviously is on hold for good) … he called me up and told me that did I know you have a hate monger working for you.

This is his email to me

From that terrorist sympathizer Hooper

Peace

Here's the e-mail and other info.

Ibrahim Hooper

202-744-7726 (c)

202-488-8787 (o)

Mr. Hooper,

Just thought you guys would like to know. We are now about to sign a deal to start advertising on WMAL. This is a direct result of the Bold comments of Michael Graham.

ooooooooooooooooo

I have forwarded the announcement to as many of the TV/Radio commentators I can think of, Glen Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, etc.

I suggest everyone to do the same too. Keep inundating them so hopefully this can be heard nationally.

ooooooooooooooooo

Will Do…. What has happened to Michael Graham is a travesty… If they can do this to Michael who will they go after next?

ooooooooooooooooo

Fans of Michael Graham,

I too am angry here are some alternatives to WMAL for those of you in Maryland:

WBAL-AM1090

On line at: http://wbal.com

They have:

Chip Franklin – remember him?

Rush Limbaugh

WCBM – AM680

On line at: http://www.wcbm.com/

They have:

G. Gordon Liddy

Sean Hannity

And for fans of Paul Harvey you can get him on line at http://www.paulharvey.com/

Perhaps we need to show WMAL that we know what "Free Speech" and more importantly "Free Listening" are all about.

Stephen C. Yednock Jr.

Seabrook Maryland

ooooooooooooooooo

Do they even have the guts to say anything on the air? I haven't heard anything all morning. Talk about spineless.

ooooooooooooooooo

I suggest that we e-mail WMAL telling them how displeased we are that Michael Graham was fired. Hopefully WMAL will be alarmed by the number of people on this e-mail listing and they will bring him back. I do feel bad for Andy Parks and Fred Grandy. I enjoy their show in the morning so I will continue to support them. After all what is the alternative...Don Imus. Give me a break! As for 9:00 - 12:00, Laura Ingraham is great talk show host and very entertaining.

If the WMAL management team sees that all of us are going to another station then maybe this will pressure them to bring back Michael.

ooooooooooooooooo

Fellow Graham Fans,

In the interest of sharing more information about this incident, the following is an email reply I received this morning in response to my giving them a piece of my mind last night after receiving Mr. Graham's press release. I'm not sure what's true nor am I defending WMAL, just sharing what I received in the interest of sharing information.:

Thank you for your email. I had not heard of Michael's decision until now.

We have given him the option to return to the air. Unfortunately he did not respond and instead has decided to miscast the facts. In addition our discussions with Michael were made independently without discussion or influence by ANY third party.

Again I appreciate you bringing Michael's announcement to my attention.

Chris Berry

President and General Manager

630 WMAL

ooooooooooooooooo

The people on this list will not intimidate WMAL. This story needs some national attention. If Rush, Hannity, O' Reilly, and the rest are all talking about this injustice, maybe we can put a little pressure back onto WMAL to correct their mistake.

ooooooooooooooooo

Fred and Andy are worth staying with WMAL; Chris on the other hand goes which ever way the wind blows. He has no backbone.

ooooooooooooooooo

We should forward this to Jay Sekulow at the American Center for Law and Justice. I cannot seem to find his e-mail address but if any of you have it you should send this story to him. You can also call in on his show: Radio call-in number: 1-800-684-3110 (from 12-12:30 PM EST/EDT.) We should urge Jay to help Michael defend his Freedom of Speech as well as Freedom of the Press. WMAL is allowing CAIR to suppress basic freedoms as well as the truth by having Michael fired for comments the deemed “hate radio”; yet they are not hateful in calling Michael a bigot for noticing a trend? Double Standards?

ooooooooooooooooo

Fellow Former WMAL Listeners,

All morning long I have been reading the e-mail of fellow listeners who are incensed over Michael Graham being fired for his comments made and his refusal to apologize. The overwhelming sentiment that I have read is that people want to switch radio stations. Perhaps we have reached that point. I think there are two points that WMAL management and the other talk show hosts must realize to bring us back.

1. There are two types of people who listen to WMAL. The first type are those who enjoy the programming and the spirited debate over ideas and policies. The second type are those who are opposed to the free exchange of ideas and wish to silence the voices of those who disagree with them. WMAL management has clearly opted to cater to the second type of listener.

2. A discussion so often held on WMAL is how when you give in to terrorists you embolden their activities. Well, when you give in to the complaints of organizations like CAIR you embolden their efforts, too. Now they will feel that they can act to remove any host for any reason in the future. Fred Grandy, Andy Parks, and Chris Core....beware, you could be next.

While I acknowledge that WMAL has the right to set policy that instructs their employees on how to act, I think that WMAL needs to remember what made them successful in the first place. WMAL became successful because they provided an arena in which people could voice their opinions and debate the issues. Their hosts were good at facilitating this interaction. This is what built WMAL. Well now that they're successful they have begun to shy away from their listener base. Perhaps they feel that they are too big to fall. There's an old saying in the south, "dance with who brung you". It was the listeners who enjoyed the programming who made WMAL a success and it is now the listeners who despise WMAL that the management is catering to. I hope the management sees fit to let us know when they have found the desire to appeal to their first listener base and bring back Michael Graham.

ooooooooooooooooo

WMAL:

I have a Marketing Plan. In that plan, I am two steps away from radio advertisements. In light of the recent firing of Michael Graham, your spineless caving in to an outside political organization, and the disrespectful silent treatment towards thousands of your listeners, I will not be advertising with your station.

ooooooooooooooooo

> Thank you for your email. I had not heard of Michael's decision until

> now.

> We have given him the option to return to the air. Unfortunately he did not

> respond and instead has decided to miscast the facts. In addition our

> discussions with Michael were made independently without discussion or

> influence by ANY third party.

> Again I appreciate you bringing Michael's announcement to my

> attention.

I received the same response this morning, so I sent this as a followup:

"Are you therefore asserting that Michael was not required to apologive and participate in a "community-service style outreach effort" in order to be allowed to return to the air?"

Chris Berry's response was:

"I never asked him to use the word APOLOGIZE or say he was sorry. As for additional outreach, I have hoped that he will speak to advertisers who have been concerned along with his colleagues at WMAL. I have NEVER suggested nor would I expect him to speak with others."

ooooooooooooooooo

All,

Heath got it right on point. And, I really appreciated Yvette's timely comments, too. My hours prevented me from listening to Michael, but my wife "did" and quoted him often. WMAL lost a listener in that time slot to Tony Snow. My wife asked me yesterday if I'd heard anything about Michael's situation. I sadly told her just now.

It is a shame, but is it so unexpected, for ABC to succumb to such a radical group. It is pitiful and cowardly. The Terrorists won another battle, but fortunately, not the war!

My prayers are with you Michael!

ooooooooooooooooo

Here is my email to the General Manager. I also sent similar emails to Fred & Andy and Chris Core:

It pains me to do it, but I can not continue to listen to WMAL! This station has caved-in to CAIR, who demanded Michael Graham be punished. WMAL responded by suspending him, but apparently that was not enough. Perhaps physical torture, mutation and imprisonment would have satisfied CAIR. Since we do live in the United States, and freedom of speech is protected, that type of punishment is not an option. Thank God! CAIR would not be satisfied until Michael Graham was fired. No, I do not believe Michael should have been coerced into apologizing or into doing some bogus community outreach program! Those should not have been the terms of his return. He should have been allowed to return after his suspension, period!!

WMAL, you are fired!

ooooooooooooooooo

Folks, I'm right there with ya on all your comments. I'm incensed at WMAL and will not listen any more. Another Rush option for you internet listeners, by the way, is his (and my) home station, KFBK 1530 (www.kfbk.com) in Sacramento, CA--if you stay on after Rush, you'll catch Tom Sullivan, too, who frequently sits in for Rush (and is a little more level-headed than Hannity).

Enough of the radio station ads, though. I must express some concern about the mass emails--I'm delighted to see as many people impassioned by the subject, but I must warn that in this day and age, such mass unprotected emailing is a threat to everyone involved due to spamming, unsecure internet hosts and recipients, and so on and so forth. --Not to mention, it sucks to scroll all the way down past the whole list of recipients (there are quite a few of us, it seems!). If there is enough interest, I will open a livejournal page where people may go to vent their points of view. If people of this community prefer to keep in touch via email, I strongly recommend using the BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) option.

I'd very much like to keep in touch with you all, but I'd also like to keep us all as safe as possible from Internet hazards that can be easily minimized.

Thanks for your passion, your community, and your patience.

ooooooooooooooooo

Dear Michael Fans,

I am currently reading Michaels's book "Banned from public radio"(c1995) which contains some of Michael's columns, from the years 1992 - 1995. I've come to learn in this wonderful book, that in 1995, the whole legislative branch of South Carolina decided to pass a law to ban Michael, at taxpayers expense!

Isn't it amazingly how history repeats itself?

The DC area finally has a local host who is all about conveying the truth and exposing corruption and when things get tough for WMAL, all they can do is bow to to the wrong people and fire him.

To rephrase a quote from another fan:

"This whole thing makes me want to throw up".

By the way, I'm sure I speak for many when I say,

Michael, I hope there's a station somewhere in DC that's really interested in truth, because your voice is needed in Washington DC.

ooooooooooooooooo

I think Michael crossed the line and the station had to make a business decision. You have a choice to not listen and not shop at any of the advertisers of his show or the station. I am sure that Michael was aware of the consequences of his actions. Michael, like many hosts of TV and Radio use their platform to espouse their personal messages which I think are somewhat extreme. I have often wondered whether these positions are to escalate the dialogue on these programs to increase ratings. Either way, generalizations and characterizations of people or groups are dangerous, hurtful and insightful and have no place on the public airwaves.

We need to start learning for ourselves and stop following these one sided, single minded hosts and address issues on our own and make our own decisions.

ooooooooooooooooo

You show your ignorance so blatantly and obviously don’t know it. Keep up the good liberal babble so we can all laugh.

ooooooooooooooooo

Political correctness and bowing to the sensitivities of the Islamic community won't entice the Islamic leadership to fully and unequivocally renounce acts of terror and express their full support of religious tolerance. They simply must be held to that standard. The fact that they have not has only increased the risk to the U.S. and its citizens. I still firmly Michael's comments were a welcome outcry in these times and deserved by the entire Islamic community - both in the US and abroad. Talk about hurtful - what about the murderers in NY, PA, DC, and now London and the FACT that the Islamic leadership around the world has utterly failed to rebuke those who commit murder. If they start murdering in our subways and buses, I am confident that this group will be scrutinized in ways that go beyond the comments of a talk show host.

During this time of war, political correctness is un-American.

ooooooooooooooooo

I am so sorry to see you go. Let me know where you get a new job and I will listen. WMAL did the absolute wrong thing to you and to us. I am insulted. I will not listen to them anymore and will not use any of their advertisers as long as they support WMAL.

ooooooooooooooooo

There is a difference between a radio personality making stupid callous

commentary about Rev. Dr. King's day of recognition and one who poses a

question for discussion (their job) and holds their position on the issue.

A talk show host who changes their view point to satisify the whims of the

enlightened can not hold anyone's interest for long.

How far do we take Political Correctness? Evidently, further than open

discussion and personal opinion. Asking for support to end violence must

not be politically correct.

If a person seen running away from a burning cross is dressed in white

flowing robes with a pointed hat we know it is neither Gandalf nor Jesse

Jackson. Would it be politically correct and unbiased to assume the

person running was Caucasian?

To my knowledge, the term Political Correctness came about during Lennin's

first 5 year plan. It figures.

Lenin also said that by telling a lie often enough it becomes the truth.

My condolences to the person taking over Michael Graham's time slot.

Dittos.

Posted by John Climacus at 10:02 | Permalink

[Read it, then weep, then act.)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Contact: Michael Graham

Email: mail@michaelgraham.com

CAIR WINS, FREE SPEECH LOSES AT ABC RADIO

Radio Station Gives In To CAIR Demands, Fires Host For Comments Regarding Islam

The following is a statement from Michael Graham, former mid-morning host at ABC Radio's 630 WMAL in Washington, DC:

The First Amendment and I have been evicted from ABC Radio in Washington, DC..

On July 25th, the Council on American-Islamic Relations demanded that I be "punished" for my on-air statements regarding Islam and its tragic connections to terrorism. Three days later, 630 WMAL and ABC Radio suspended me without pay for comments deemed "hate radio" by CAIR.

CAIR immediately announced that my punishment was insufficient and demanded I be fired. ABC Radio and 630 WMAL have now complied. I have now been fired for making the specific comments CAIR deemed "offensive," and for refusing to retract those statements in a management-mandated, on-air apology. ABC Radio further demanded that I agree to perform what they described as "additional outreach efforts" to those people or groups who felt offended.

I refused. And for that refusal, I have been fired.

It appears that ABC Radio has caved to an organization that condemns talk radio hosts like me, but has never condemned Hamas, Hezbollah, and one that wouldn't specifically condemn Al Qaeda for three months after 9/11.

As a fan of talk radio, I find it absolutely outrageous that pressure from a special interest group like CAIR can result in the abandonment of free speech and open discourse on a talk radio show. As a conservative talk host whose job is to have an open, honest conversation each day with my listeners, I believe caving to this pressure is a disaster.

I for one cannnot apologize for the truth and I cannot agree to some community-service style "outreach effort" to appease the opponents of free speech.

If I had made a racist or bigoted comment -- which my regular listeners know goes against everything I believe in -- I would apologize immediately, and without coercion. When I have made inadvertent fact errors in the past, I apologized promptly and without hesitation.

But we have now gone far beyond that, with demands that I apologize for the ideas my listeners and I believe in. It is not a coincidence that, after my suspension on July 28th, WMAL received more than 15,000 phone calls and emails protesting my removal from the airwaves.

Why such a huge response? It wasn't about me; The listeners I spoke to said they felt betrayed by my suspension because the vast majority of them agree with me on the subject of Islam. By labeling my statements as unacceptable, these listeners felt that WMAL management was insulting them, too.

I cannot speak for anyone else, but I care about the listeners of 630 WMAL. I respect them and I appreciate the amazing support they have given me.

I could not dishonor their principled support for free speech by giving into these demands. I cannot join ABC Radio in bowing to CAIR's wishes. And I will not apologize for my opinions or retract the truth.

The whole point of the Michael Graham Show is what my listeners and I call the "natural truth," those obvious facts about modern life that the p.c. police and mainstream media believe should never be discussed. That includes the tragic, but undeniable relationship between terrorism and Islam as it is constituted today.

The conversations my listeners and I had on this subject were not offensive or bigoted in the least. In fact, Ibrahim Hooper of CAIR (who has appeared on my show several times) credited "criticism from talk radio" in part for the recent fatwa against terrorism issued by a group of US Muslim scholars. Ironically, it was issued the day before I was suspended.

That's the real tragedy here. The people who most need free speech and open dialogue on the issues facing Islam today are America's moderate Muslims. These are people of good will who have the difficult job ahead of reforming and rescuing their religion. They need all the help they can get.

The decision to give CAIR what it wants-a group with well-publicized ties to terrorists and terror-related organizations--will make it harder for the reformers to successfully face Islam's challenges. Still worse, silencing people like me will make it easier for Islamist extremists to dismiss all sincere calls for reform as mere "bigotry."

When CAIR is able to quell dissent and label every critic a "bigot," the chilling effect is felt far beyond ABC Radio and 630 WMAL. If anyone is owed an apology, it is the moderate, Muslim community who have been failed once again by the mainstream media.

###

Posted by John Climacus at 09:29 | Permalink

We're WAY out of touch just now. No newspapers, no lucianne.com, no Yahoo, no time to read our own comments for goodness sakes (heh- 'comments' - we don't need to stinkin' comments!). Behind the times yet posting nonetheless, for the next few days at least.

Why are we behind? It's been explained earlier, just scroll down (links? we don't need no stinkin' links! just scroll down, por favor!)

Probably till August 30 or so we're reporting from the past. Sorry.

Untimely? Yes! Pointless? And how!

Why post then? Because we must. Because it is our nature. Because life is too silly to ignore. Because we don't play video games and this is all we have left.

So this post will stay at the top for a few days to qualify all that appears below. To get the latest from Alpaca Burger Forum, please scroll down.

Posted by John Climacus at 09:24 | Permalink

...maybe then I'd have at least a jigger of the meandering-yet-oddly-compelling energy of Straight White Guy.

Werewolf movie blogging, people...now that takes leisure time...but it also takes STYLE...which I'm just too friggin' busy to cultivate.

Posted by John Climacus at 03:53 | Permalink

Short Answer: Contact WMAL advertisers and let them know you support Michael Graham!

Long Answer: Read the rest of this post.

You probably aren't up to date on what's going on with Michael Graham this week because you're boycotting WMAL, right?

Well, I can tell you as of this morning he's still not on. But he's not forgotten.

This is from Joel Mowbray's column in the local paper of record:

To provide cover -- and further perpetuate the myth that CAIR and other American Muslim organizations are genuinely "moderate" -- various fundamentalist Muslim leaders recently issued a fatwa against "extremism" and "terrorism." It was classic CAIR obfuscation: It condemned terms that were intentionally not defined. Not coincidentally, no terrorist organizations were named. Sadly, many media outlets were snookered.

The question is: will WMAL be snookered? The station, for its part, refuses comment, with one official calling it a "human resources issue." And the station has never acknowledged that CAIR was responsible for its decision. So it is possible that something else may be at play. There are even some signals that the host might be back behind the microphone before long. At press time, he had not been reinstated.

(Background here and here.)

His Web site (link in the top right column) is down the past few days. The Support Michael Graham site implies there is something ominous about this, but at worst I'm guessing he had a hosting problem and is in the process of moving it. Maybe it was using shared space on one of WMAL's servers.

If you have some free time this weekend and feel like getting in someone's face about Michael Graham, the WMAL team will be at the Virginia Wine Festival this weekend.

HA! Just kidding! Don't go to the festival to abuse the WMAL booth employees. Go there to drink the wine and leave the minute you find yourself standing next to the booth, weaving ever so slightly back and forth while glowering at the hapless staff. THEY DID NOT FIRE MICHAEL GRAHAM AND PROBABLY IN FACT LIKE HIM.

The first week after his suspension, Michael and the family went on a vacation - which had already been planned - to Hawaii. Since his suspension, CAIR has been busy trying to ensure he never gets back on the air at WMAL, and has also taken aim at Geoff Metcalf, who was Michael's replacement that week and is still filling the morning slot.

You'll see if you follow that link, CAIR has assembled a list of WMAL advertisers, marked 'PLEASE POST, COPY AND DISTRIBUTE', targeted for pressure. Michael's supporters also should make use of the list CAIR has conveniently compiled.

CAIR has already managed to get one advertiser to pull its ads from WMAL - but very tellingly this advertiser does not wish to be identified. Hardly a groundswell of pro-CAIR sentiment, and this should be considered solid confirmation of the fact that DC-area business owners know their customers. So let's speak up, fellow customers, shall we?

Posted by John Climacus at 02:24 | Permalink

Ahoy there, matey!

(CUE: Foghorn Leghorn - "Ah say uh, Ahhh SAY uh, son...")

This is a special announcement. Not only is the Alpaca Burger Forum/Newcounterculture.com redesign going to begin soon, but a special real-life project is going to begin taking up huge swaths of my time, just about NOW.

(CUE: Slide-whistle)

On top of that, there may be some Internet access issues because of the aforementioned project. What this means is, anything can happen around here - and probably will!

(CUE: Sound of car crash)

(CUE: Woody Woodpecker laugh - "Ha-ha-ha HAAA-ha!")

I'm talking angry blogging. I'm talking crazy blogging. I'm talking INANE blogging.

I'm talking DRUNK blogging, damn you!

I'm talkin' about the KIND of BLOGGING that just. might. get. a guy. ARRESTED!...if he wasn't so "plugged in" with local law enforcement.

So you may want to visit during the upcoming festival of sheer, unvarnished HUMANITY...

(CUE: Wicked Witch of the West - "Come HERE, my little PRETTY!")

...or you may want to keep your distance, depending entirely on your own tolerance for heartlessness and oppression...

...whoops, sorry, did I say 'heartlessness and oppression'? I meant 'poorly-conceived blog posts.'

Depending entirely on your own tolerance for poorly-conceived blog posts..

More poorly-conceived than usual, that is - so we're talking some major league CRAP, is what we're talking about.

On second thought maybe you SHOULD plan to stop by just out of curiosity because you might end up getting a really big laugh at our expense.

(CUE: Sound of machine gun fire)

(CUE: Sound of bombs exploding)

(CUE: Sound of pterodactyl Rodan's promordial screech from Godzilla vs. Monster Zero)

When it's all over and the radiocative dust has finally settled, things could be totally different around here, and up to 50% better.

Or possible even 50% different, and 10% better, would still be nice. Yeah, that's something to shoot for.

Anyhoo, we're off down the meandering garden path toward our rendezvous with the unknown, be it good or evil, dainty or ponderous, slick and smooth or scratchy like a sheet of 40-grit sandpaper ready to rub out our very existence like an unwelcome nub on the great log of life.

Toodle-oo!

(CUE: King Kong's roar)

Posted by John Climacus at 02:03 | Permalink

No post of substance tonight, but I hope the offering will leave you wiser and faster:

The sign 'No Thru Trucks' actually means 'Excellent Short Cut'

Take it to the bank, it works every time.

NOTE: For me, it is a little sweeter because I actually drive a truck.

NOTE II: This is not to be confused with 'No Thru Street'. That one, you want to take at face value.

Posted by John Climacus at 01:38 | Permalink

The latest claims from Lt. Col. Anthony Shaffer have added another verse to the alternating chorus' of 'D'oh!' 'Whoo-hoo!' 'D'oh!' 'Whoo-hoo!'

What we talked about to the 9/11 commission was we found that these guys matched a pattern, a pattern, which in this case with Atta and the other four terrorists, matched the Brooklyn location...

To get a glimpse of the bounces the succession of contradictory revelations is causing, scroll through Jim Geraghty. This is from his most recent post:

- Everyone who said Jamie Gorelick belong testifying before the Commission instead of on it would be platinum-level vindicated.

- The Clinton administration Justice Department’s rejection of Mary Jo White’s objections to the wall would look unforgiveable.

- Everyone would have intense questions about what role, if any, Hillary Clinton played in recommending Jamie Gorelick for her Justice Department job. This is the sort of thing that can ruin a party’s reputation and derail a 2008 campaign.

And don’t even get me started on how much worse this makes Sandy Berger look...

And here's the post before it:

Just heard from a guy I trust that the Pentagon will be releasing information regarding Able Danger in the not too distant future. The short version: Don't expect any bombshells.

Thank you, Congressman Weldon, for getting just enough of this story right (the existence of Able Danger and its mission) to get folks like myself and lot of others to take you seriously. Those others weren't just bloggers, by the way - I'm talking about the New York Times, the AP, the Bergen Record...

And thanks a [really bad word] heap for getting more than enough wrong that we look like idiots for trusting you...

Similar yo-yoing at Power Line.

But Ed Morrissey's article in this morning's Weekly Standard reveals digging into this story is unearthing the unexpected:

The 9/11 plot began its practical planning in Hamburg, beginning in 1999 and assisting Mohammed Atta and the other 9/11 plotters through the summer of 2001. Having discovered two Iraqi intelligence agents conducting "missions . . . in a number of German towns since the beginning of 2001" indicates at least the possibility of more than just a sabotage assignment. Even apart from the al-Watan al-Arabi reporting, the strange coincidence of discovering Iraqi intelligence operations in such close conjunction to known al Qaeda operations should have raised some eyebrows.

Ed has more at his site, including some Clinton connections and observations on Shaffer and the 9-11 Commission.

Fox News reported that Shaffer had lost his security clearance at one point, but the reason seemed insignificant. It looks like a lot of rocks are going to get kicked over in the next few days and it will be interesting to see what all scurries out.

Posted by John Climacus at 01:27 | Permalink

The latest Bonfire is up at Techno Gypsy, with lots of grubby, rum-soaked inelegancies, and a few overachievers.

Posted by John Climacus at 06:21 | Permalink

I may never scoop MonkeyWatch again in my life, so I need to make the most out of this one

Study: Most Wild Chimps Are Southpaws

Scientists have long debated whether nonhuman primates exhibit handedness.

Because the hands are controlled by opposite sides of the brain, the finding could indicate that this brain division had begun as long as 5 million years ago, prior to the split between humans and chimpanzees.

Ergo, based on the monkey research and evolutionary evidence....(drumroll please)...

RIGHT-HANDED PEOPLE ARE MORE HIGHLY EVOLVED THAN LEFT-HANDED!

That should be good for a few hundred Google hits this year.

Thank you, thank you very much. Back to you, Ed.

Posted by John Climacus at 06:33 | Permalink

In the dark ages prior to the World Wide Web, I'd wake up on a Sunday morning blissfully ignorant of what was really happening in the world outside. Thanks to Drudge and others, I now have the information I need to analyze data accurately, function in a timely manner, and proceed with confidence into the bold, bright future.

UPDATE: Sometimes I wonder: if Drudge must continue to build interest via these oddball stories, why not mix up the dramatic pacing a bit? I'd personally find it more interesting if the headline screamed: "Rabbit has sex -- Man arrested!" Or even: "Man, rabbit copulate -- Laws broken!!"

UPDATE II: "Bestiality Occurs -- Police chime in!!"

"What's Up, Doc? Man bugs buggers bunny!!"

Posted by John Climacus at 08:34 | Permalink