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28, 2005

My Three Step Plan

Man, I should rename this site the 'Andy Willoughby Three Step Plan Forum.' This plan would have been so much simpler:

1. Start blog

2. Comment on multi-level marketing program promoted on Christian radio

3. Enjoy the people's ovation and fame forever

It would have saved a boatload of typing, that's for sure.

BTW I expect to begin actual posting again soon. The past month has been busy, and rather draining with all the Christmas logistics. I've been dreadfully low on energy so the full schedule has not left much in the way of brain wave activity in the evenings. I mean, the functional level has been about in the range of 'tomato' whereas normally I'm way up there in the 'venus fly trap' spectum at least.

21, 2005

I can drive 55, but I much prefer not to

Having recently completed a 2000-mile driving trip in four days, I declare myself a fervent fan of the 70-mph speed limit now in place in much of North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida. How I love the South.

I feel this way even in light of the recent study claiming 'speed kills on U.S. highways' because auto fatality rates did not fall quickly enough in the U.S. in the 1990s.

(In 1995, Congress lifted the national 55-mph speed limit, a law Stephen Moore called 'probably the most disobeyed in American history.' More praise of the move is here.)

The reason I think it is good to be able to peg the cruise control on 79 mph for hours on end is you just make such damn good time. An obvious statement, maybe, but a deeply rewarding experience nonetheless.

I was imprinted long ago with the tendency to perceive all mile measurements while driving in terms of a 60-mph speed. Got to go 20 miles? That will be 20 minutes.

What a difference to be able to look at that sign and think, 'That will be MUCH LESS than 20 minutes. 15, tops.'

Got to go 45 miles? Now I'm thinking 'Half an hour.' I LOVE that. It almost mitigates the dreariness and interminable monotony of a long-distance drive, to experience such sheer efficiency.

'My goodness,' you can say to yourself, 'that Stuckey's is 10 miles away: I'll be there before this song is over.'

It's exhilarating. During stretches of minimal traffic, it's perfectly safe because you're all driving at the same speed and relatively it's like you're standing still, like you're sitting in a field among scattered concrete garden gnomes and occasionally getting up to walk past one.

The roads are less jammed up because everyone is getting to where they need to go so much more quickly. It must be safer, because everyone's not looking in their rear-view mirror the whole time or tensing up at every bend in the road where cops may be lurking. And it's got to be better for the police because they can spend their time and paperwork on the real red-meat bad-asses who are hitting 90 and 95 mph - rather than worrying about the chintzy little boring citizen who just wants to break 70.

Sometimes I wonder what it must have been like for guys like George Washington back in the 1700s, riding a horse 20 miles to get from Mount Vernon to Alexandria all the time for supplies or just to hang out and quaff a few.

In his wagon, that had to be a one-and-a half- hour drive in each direction. If George was around today, I think he'd hop in the SUV and floor it. Why spend 20 minutes on the trip when you could do it in 15? He'd get home and be all like 'Hey Martha, I just went up to the store and got a bushel of hemp seeds and made the whole trip in 30 minutes. ' He wouldn't spend 45 minutes if he didn't have to.

So I consider myself a patriot, a Minuteman if you will.

Holiday Buckets of Meat

This would have come in handy about two years ago. I mean, with a little Photoshopping, it would have been perfect, children!

I've said it before: WHERE does Eric come up with this stuff?

14, 2005

Northern Virginia Meeting on Iraq War, Elections

Perspectives on Post-Election Iraq: What the liberal media is not telling you

If you are in the little slice of heaven we call 'NOVA,' please check this out: Tuesday, January 3, 7:00 PM. NOVA TownHall meeting.

13, 2005

Bonfire of the Vanities #128

The latest Bonfire is up at Free Money Finance, which if supposed to be a funny blog name, is certainly one of the best I've seen. Makes me think I should try starting one called 'Phentermine Online Poker With Russian Virgins' or 'EZ Loan Mortgage Microcap Elegant Beauty Jewels OEM Software.' Someone's making money on this stuff, might as well be me.

09, 2005

Just a foot soldier in the Christmas army

Everybody and their brother is having conniption fits because you can no longer rely on hearing a hearty 'Merry Christmas' every time you walk into the local Wal-Mart or Linens 'N Things. Needless to say, the indignation-mongerers par excellance are all over this story.

Then there's the famous book, also, which is touted as follows at TownHall:

'Happy holidays!' Every time a supermarket checker or store clerk greets you with those words instead of 'Merry Christmas,' you have met another soldier in the war against Christmas. Secularists are bent on imposing upon us a neutered, secular winter holiday that throws out every trace of Christianity from the public observance of Christmas. It's all necessary, they tell us, to avoid offending non-Christians and, above all, to keep from violating the all-important separation of church and state. Meanwhile, Christians in America are increasingly marginalized and shunted aside.
.
Personally, I can't get too worked up over this issue. I don't give a rat's you-know-what how the lady behind the counter in the Housewares department greets me. I definitely don't think it impacts whether the kingdom of God will be established. Supposedly there are churches and this one particular book to help make that happen.

Of course, I always leave one of these on the counter of every store I visit:
holiday_card1_sm.jpg

[Click here for larger version]

You can get your own here. I recommend buying 10 packages at a time, simply because I think it will bring you 10 times as much enjoyment.

Calling a weasel a weasel, finally

dean_flag.jpg

Just when you are wondering 'why do I bother to vote for these idiots anyway' the Republicans go and do something right. It may not be 'genius' per se, but it's awfully gosh-darn good.

Some of the text:

Democrats have a plan for Iraq - Retreat and Defeat...

Our country is at war. Our soldiers are watching. Our enemies are too.


If it was playing every single night on television, prime time, instead of just on the Web, THAT would qualify as genius. But this is the GOP, after all.

UPDATE: Yeah, we probably want to avoid even using 'GOP' and 'genius' in the same paragraph. If you're starting to feel all good about the guys in charge, go read this post by Cliff May for a quick return to Earth.

UPDATE II: Serving the same purpose is this, by Tony Snow.

Y'know, what we need is a 'Republican wing of the Republican Party' movement.

08, 2005

Coulter agonistes

Although I'm bored by the news, I still love Ann Coulter (Heck, who couldn't? We should be building statues of Ann Coulter surrounded by baths and temples and gardens):

'I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am,' Coulter told the 2,600 people at Jorgensen Auditorium.

But most of what passes for 'news analysis' nowadays is so friggin'...predictable.

There was a time when creating a blog post was like falling off a bike. Such as, commenting on some TV commercial like 'My doctor told me I had a growing problem...' (Not subscribed to U.S. DirecTV or cable - sorry for the obscure reference. To us, it's funny and familiar.)

[UPDATE: At the end of that paragraph there was supposed to be a sentence to the effect of 'and this is why we want to throw bricks through our CRT's' but it got clipped during late night, besotted, cut-and-pasting. This is why I will never run for any public office above homeowners association president: Too many lapses in judgment, too many skeletons and too rich of a paper trail. Pity.]

Nowadays, I guess my standards are just a little bit higher, and therefore I generally have nothing whatsoever to say. I'm sick of the news and sick of the commentary and sick of the stupid-ass mass culture.

I don't want to comment on the 'latest issues.' The latest issues, to me, are mainly annoying.

So this will go down as a primarily empty, obligatory post. Except for the part about Ann.

[Mainly we're still in maintenance mode here - trying to clean up the 'categories' of all the old posts and also fix all the graphics which MT wants as absolute Web addresses and we have, inconveniently, via Greymatter been creating for the past two years as relative links which no longer work in MT's directory structure. Eventually all the categories will make 'sense,' such as it is. And the 'old, sucky...' categories will be supplanted by more high-falutin' themes.]

[If the previous sentence bores you to hell, then you are right in tune with the current Alpaca Burger Forum zeitgeist. Welcome to our nightmare.]

['Cleaning' over 600 posts is an existential experience. Like peeling 300 potatoes. Greetings, comrades.]

01, 2005

Democrats to Troops: You are TOO losing, dammit!

dems_to_troops1.jpg

If we are not simply to spew coffee on the keyboard and walk away, what is there to say about the response to the President's speech by the loyal opposition? (I mean, I'm broken, worn-out, and living hand to mouth, so in principle I don't have a problem with the concept...but there is no reason to foist it on our brave fighting men and women. Unless of course you have a good reason to deflect attention.)

Weasels.

Tin ears.

Goober. (or should we say, Goo-bert)

Well, some Democrats, I mean.

Links

Ecosystem


Blogroll

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